Hillbuzz: Ask Not For Whom The Bull Trolls

Seeing the world through troll-colored glasses

To Kevin Dujan, the World's Crappiest Cult Leader, All the World's a Troll. Take his easy online Troll Recognition Course, available for only a few easy payments, and learn how the slightest dissent turns anyone, even a long-term supporter, into a troll! (worst crime: "Kevin, could you maybe edit this a little?") Watch as Bev The Enforcer drop-kicks discussions into the next time-zone ("This is trolling, and has to end NOW!") and thrill as hapless regulars try to absorb Harvey Bilk's rampant paranoia in instructional form:

"(2) Keep using logic and calm, reasoned tones with the trolls. Keep calling them out, but in a non-flaming, non-name-calling way. Just keep saying, “You might not mean to, but you sure sound like a troll for the following reasons…” or “What you are saying sounds really fishy, almost as if you were a plant sent here by the Romney Campaign or the Cocktail Party GOP establishment.

Very almost rational and non-flaming, there, Harvey. Now I'm beginning to wonder if you're not a DNC plant yourself, placed to lure conservatives into making an ever-more ludicrous spectacle of themselves as they cast each other into the Truth Pond and watch the innocents sink.

Special Blingee of Merit for Comment Most Likely To Finish Pushing Harvey Over The Edge:

dallasbound Says:

November 17, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Have you thought about setting up a paypal account (or something similar) for donations? I’d give in a heartbeat.

Oh, I think he has, dallasbound. Good luck on your trip! Call when you get there; we worry. (H/T: my esteemed colleague and fellow-prosecutee--Betty Cracker. Hey Kevin--CASSEROLES. BOO!)

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, jolted to life by this very same Harvey Bilk, and serving the I Can't Believe I Was Hillbuzzed! Community since about yesterday this time. Hello, Recoverees!

Hillbuzz USO Post, or, What Have You Done To Attack A War Widow Today?

SAD SAX--no futuristic dystopia is complete without him!

They are all heart over at Hillbuzz. Proprietor Harvey Bilk, aka Kevin Dujan, exhorted his conservative followers to volunteer one day a year for the USO, with this encouraging call-to-arms:

"Conservatives need to start telling little Susie and Billy they have to miss ballet and hockey ONE DAMN DAY in November and December. There will be plenty of crap for you to buy at Costco the next day, I swear.

It is shameful you invoke God whenever it’s time to judge others but you love sitting on that butt of yours drinking your Pepsi instead of helping people who need it at the holidays."

That was bracing, wasn't it! It certainly frosted Dujan's new Rush-referred audience, as well as some of his regular Sarah Palinophiliacs. Dujan went on, ludicrously (and, as it was a Saturday night, perhaps drunkenly), to insist on his Rev. Moon-like edict, no matter what the real-life situations of his readers, posting simply, "What have you done for the USO?" and "Please elucidate" in answer to offended readers, including the widow of a soldier:

shelby68 Says:

November 7, 2010 at 2:11 am

USO is not organization which receives my family’s charitable time or charitable donations. My former husband already gave the ultimate sacrifice to the military and to the country. I think our family’s contributions to the government and to the military are marked paid in full.

Reply

1. Hillbuzz Says:

   
   November 7, 2010 at 2:37 am

   What do you do for the USO?

   If nothing, please explain why you can’t find one day a week to support our troops.

   Am dying to hear why you are too busy or important to volunteer.

   Please explain

A couple of Hillbuzzers tried to head Harvey (sorry, I just like my name for him best) off from the precipice, but he was bound and determined to jump:

JkR Says:

November 7, 2010 at 8:29 am

I think that you missed the part where she is a widow of a soldier KIA.

Oh, but Harvey hasn't missed it at all! Why should a soldier's widow get a pass from Harvey on the arbitrary symbolic service Harvey has picked out for her, or anybody, no matter how much they give in their own way, of their own free will?

(Here I would like just to note that no sane person, liberal or not, would accuse conservatives of laziness, or lack of charitable giving; libs may object to conservatives' choice of charities [those promoting the intrusion of church into state, for instance], but it's just plain moonbarking nuts to insist conservatives don't give.)

Hillbuzz loyalists performed thanklessly athletic contortions to excuse Dujan's weirdly inhumane hissy fit:

P Says:

November 7, 2010 at 1:43 am

Kevin, are you drunk?

Reply

1. Hillbuzz Says:

   
   November 7, 2010 at 2:47 am

   Why haven’t you listed what you do instead of volunteering for the USO at the holidays?

   I am waiting.

   I have not had a drink since Pride in June, honey.

   You want to call me drunk for calling out conservative laziness. So be it.

   Still want to know why you sit on your butt all day when there is stuff to be done.

   How about answering that instead of insulting me?

OK! Not drunk. Meth? Or not enough lithium, perhaps, but not drunk! And so the thread went, a study in group dynamics, peer-pressure, rationalization, and a master-class in passive aggression. "Don't worry," multiple Hillbuzzers reassured the outraged newbies, "it's a troll. It isn't usually like this. This isn't our Kevin."

My good friend Strangeappar8us suggests reading the thread while listening to the theme from North By Northwest, while I find the comments sound best read in Peter Lorre's voice:

"You must...excuse the master....he's not usually like this....he's been under a terrible strain..."

The fearsome KOS has hacked us! It doesn't sound like Kevin at all!--it's a psy-ops trick of Kevin's to toughen us! The excuses knotted up that thread and the open thread after it, but the Hillbuzzards also made clear why the astonishing nastiness and downright loopiness of the USO thread Kevin was no fluke. First, a rare lucid commenter:

Debra Says:

November 7, 2010 at 8:15 pm

This whole “it was a hacker” theory has lost it’s credibility as the day wears on and Hillbuzz posts other posts. I’ll give Kevin a hissy fit, but he needs to at the very least acknowledge that it was a hissy fit, and apologize to the posters where he needs to apologize. Just calling Kevin or Hillbuzz out on something does not make someone a troll. And just because it may not have bothered you doesn’t mean that you get to tell us how to feel about it – you can feel like it was about absolutely nothing, but I was irritated by the post and I have a very high tolerance rate for that kind of stuff. I can blow it off after initially being steamed but others may not be able to, and I understand that.

Naturally, logic at Hillbuzz got Debra only mixed success:

1. Suz Says:

   
   November 7, 2010 at 9:28 pm

   It’s not Kevin.

   Reply
2. Ad rem Says:

   
   November 7, 2010 at 10:57 pm

   Amen Debra!

Then, uber-devotees showed how the inherent awfulness that is the Hillbuzz way inevitably makes itself manifest:

Karma Says:

November 8, 2010 at 2:38 am

Hurt fee fees vs troops who are risking their lives.

I don’t have the ‘holier-than-thou attitude’ and ‘you deserved it’ mantra. I noted the difference that conservatives here take when the snark is pointed at them and rather than liberals. Like it or not. If you can dish it out but you can’t take it…that is hypocritical.

Also the indignation started before the lady with the ‘former husband’ who gave the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ posted. She didn’t really call herself a ‘fallen soldier’s widow’ but when looking at the time stamps. It looks like HillBuzz went down the list of whiners and posted the same basic question.

“What have you done for the troops?”

Like it or not that isn’t an offensive question to ask a military widow even if he saw that she was one.

If anything it honors her husband by a stranger thinking of the troops. Of all the vets I know, the bonding experienced in war and to the soldiers who are still alive, run deep. Without fail they want the men who have passed and are still alive to be appreciated….even if they never served together.

You can still pretend hurt fee fees are more important than appreciating the troops. But I can’t and won’t….military families know the deal. Chances are high your beloved father, husband, son, wife, daughter might not come home during war.

The argument still stands even with the victim card thrown by you. Donating time to troops vs hurt fee fees over a post…ugh…makes my stomach turn it is so lame.

So, finally, we have arrived. Enough with the posturing: to "Karma," and the real true Buzzdolts, Harvey the BlunderGnome is completely justified attacking the fallen soldier's wife; she's playing the victim card!

Playing the victim card brings us to Dujan's original post, which remains deeply offensive for all sorts of reasons not observed by the wounded conservatives:

First, if anybody is so suggestible as to take Dujan's tone of aggrieved martyrdom seriously, then that person would have to conclude that helping people with AIDS is unrelievedly awful. What a disservice to AIDs volunteerism that would be; fortunately, most sensible people will question the veracity of many parts of Dujan's, as usual, unsubstantiated tale of persecution, this time by his "clients:" people with AIDS who hate him for no good reason at all!

"I am not asking you to bring meals to AIDS shut-ins and clean their apartments on holidays – I do that too, it is NOT fun, and the people I do this for are always mean to me and resent me for being healthy."

Those who have actually done the work will know that terribly ill people have their ups and downs, but if the PWAs receiving the tender care of Kevin Dujan universally hate him, something else is happening besides jealousy of his health (nobody could envy his mental health, for instance).

Ingrates! Those terribly ill PWAs are always mean to poor Harvey! And he feeds the homeless, too, even though:

"I am not asking you to feed the homeless – I do that, and it is scary and terrible."

How odd that my experience feeding the homeless (goodwill-purchased bread machine, many homeless men and women enjoying happy still-warm loaves and East Village cheese store bargains--it's still open, btw, go and buy wonderful cheese!--) was heartwarming and restorative to all of us. I feel selfish for enjoying it so much, instead of suffering as Harvey Bilk does when he does something good. Once a year.

It would be hilarious if it weren't so horrid. Richard Dawkins himself would pray for the day of judgement just so the shade of the husband whose wife Harvey and his buzzing ghouls insulted could rise up and stare these grotesques down as devils drag them into perdition.

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, in between stretches of real, genuine, pleasant, non-Buzzy living!

Hillbuzz Open Threat-Note To Hillbuzzers: Oh Yes, That's Him Alright!

Even the ever-suppurating neurons of Harvey Bilk must occasionally take an hour off from generating accusations of slander and bathetic jingoistic buffoonery!

If you landed on this page by accident, unlike the unpleasant creatures above, my apologies. These are the sad little colonists of Hillbuzz, whose owner is climbing his way up the political opportunist's ladder one whisper campaign at a time. It's a long story.

But my regular readers will recognize the graphic above, no doubt. Having a life to lead and all, I just can't equal Harvey Bilk's output, ever. But there should be a place to note his more egregious tomfoolery, and so, without further ado, Snarkopolitan's first open thread!

**UPDATE**

Mr. Dujan's readers are trying their best to excuse his nutty and unnecessarily vicious, self-ennobling, Holier Than Everybody, USO thread. No dears, you have simply been sucked into the imaginings of the World's Crummiest Would-Be Cult Leader. When I have more time, I'll illustrate exactly why yes, that IS Kevin Dujan taking a smarmy dump on you all.

brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly, who cannot keep up as she does not have the strength of the Mad.

Hey Kevin, Madame Secretary Called

Now it can be revealed! Kevin Dujan's fifth imaginary friend!

--And she wants her cardboard cut-out back, so it can be given to someone who respects her more, like Jon Favreau.

So much craziness, so little time. My apologies to my ones of readers, who have followed this halting narrative ever since Kevin Dujan, (aka "Harvey Bilk", or lately, "Uremic Heap") decided to use me and my then-dormant blog for lucrative target-practice, but life keeps intervening, or else I just don't have the drive of the Mad the way he does. I can barely manage to be one person, for instance, whereas he's managed to dupe his readers into believing that he's a bunch of "boiz," all of whom need support (samoleons)!

I will be continuing to put up posts, and have half-a-dozen going on sale shortly, because, although they're past their freshness date, they're still okay, and won't give you any more of a stomach ache than can be had by reading his awful, awful, blog. So stay tuned, and thank you so much for your more than patience.

brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, constantly falling behind the skulduggery of the skulduggerers, center cannot hold, worst full of passionate intensity, etc etc.

Hillbuzz: Use "Victory Mosque" For Political Win!

Cheerfully sociopathic Harvey Bilk is not one to mince words:

"YOU need to help us brainstorm creative ways to take down the Democrat Party with this Islamic Victory Mosque issue.

First up, calling it the “Victory Mosque” is key. Get that into every dialogue on this issue. Make that the term that’s used in debate. The idea of a “Victory Mosque”



Does it matter to Harvey that the "Mosque" is more like the YMCA, complete with swimming pool, the Imam is a friend of Grover Norquist AND George Bush? Or that the Cordoba Center has extensive Jewish and Christian support? No, not as long as there's a hatred to exploit for his own purposes.

In the sad history of cynical operators, idealogues, and innocents, we know where Harvey lands. He hasn't the courage of any convictions, save that power is fun, and he's going to get him some, no matter the cost to anybody else.

Well, Harvey, you are not the only person who can retitle a facility for your own conniving purposes. From here on in, I suggest that genuine lovers of freedom of expression, religious and otherwise, refer to YMCAs as, "Victory Cathedrals," and learn to bend our vocal chords around the following tune:

It's fun to stay at the Vic-To-Ree Cathedral,

It's fun to stay at the Vic-To-Ree Cathedral....


Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, shocked to life by this very same Harvey Bilk, and fruitlessly searching for brains ever since.

Hillbuzz: RRRaaacist Or Not? YOU Be The Judge! Tonight's Show: "Especially If They're Black"

"I don't see why it's wrong; what think you?"

The following headline from the awful blog that once tried to make a meal out of poor old neglected Snarkopolitan falls into a category of communication that I like to call Questions That Answer Themselves:

QUESTION: Should children of a president never be criticized (especially if they are black)?

That, of course, would be Lord of the Flies at Hillbuzz, Harvey Bilk, artlessly wondering, in his sociopathic way, why he shouldn't light into the first daughters, since they may not be Obama's daughters at all; daughters that perfect couldn't come from those parents, and besides, they look nothing like him!

This although, Harvey airily admits (still writing in the imaginary plural),



"it’s something that’s never occurred to us before, because we never write about the current “president’s” daughters and have never bothered to learn which of the girls is which."



Yes! He just can't tell the Obama girls apart! But let's cut him some slack; after all, we know Harvey isn't interested in shallow, mutable, deceiving externals like personal appearance.

All right, I'm better now. I had to lie down for a minute with a gin bottle pressed against my forehead.

"we really don’t believe they’re even his girls, because they look nothing like him," sniffs Harvey, before going on to delight his collection of sissy-hating Hillbuzzers with a little Obama-centered homophobia,



"and because the current “president” is a closeted gay man we have a very hard time believing has ever slept with a woman…let alone the person who is the current “First Spouse.”



(Wishing may not make it so, but quotation marks come close.)

Most of Harvey's commenters, while less tone-deaf than Dr. Laura's would-be Soul Sister, rationalize away their joy in shredding the President's children because questioning their parentage and snarking their clothing is not aimed at the cheeldren; their mother dresses them! Nine-year-old Sasha (described by Dujan's one actuall co-blogger, "Grammy Hillbuzz," as having "weird feet"), wouldn't feel upset at having her parentage questioned and her clothing called ugly, now, would she? The Hillbuzzers are just concerned.

But, one commenter wonders, when will we get back to Harvey's real point, which is the terrible privations he suffers not being able to criticize the President's children, since they are black?

sophie Says:

August 15, 2010 at 9:22 pm
I think the original post raised a larger question ? Can we never criticize racial minorities, or risk being viewed as racists?
I think the Obama’s have been handled with the softest of kid gloves on this issue, to the detriment of our country.

Finally! After a number of commenters dropped the ball, arguing with a "troll" who objected to their even discussing the children, Sophie gets the whole picture: it's time to take off the kid gloves and get to work. Harvey has the answer he wanted at last.

Brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, at sporadic intervals because unlike certain "events coordinators," Mrs. Polly works for her money!

Dujan-Vue: Hillbuzz Boiz AWOL, All One Of Them.

Lord of the Flies Harvey Bilk conferring with a few of his imaginary friends.

First, for passers-by, why isn't the author of this little blog out admiring the heliotrope instead of devoting so much space to repeatedly slamming a larger, obviously crazy blog? Context here. Now then.

For pity's sake, clueless Hillbuzzers: there are no other "Boiz." New co-blogger/scullery wench "Chrissy the Hyphenated" (Nitwit-American?), when she was given the drudge work exquisite privilege of writing full posts for Harvey Bilk, didn't expect that she would suddenly become a solo act. But Harvey has gone missing, for days, without a word to his people. And none of the other "boiz" who make up the Hillbuzz brand have the cojones to come forward and fill in! But Chrissy isn't worried; she has "mommy instincts":

chrissythehyphenated Says:

August 5, 2010 at 10:35 am
I have gotten a few email from Kevin this week about two things — designing a new site for Hillbuzz and a humongous annual gay festival in Chi-town this weekend.

He wanted me to do something graphic for the festival, but hasn’t sent me the base graphic, which would only require him to snap and email one photo.

Based on these tiny clues, my well-honed mommy instincts suggest he’s physically fine, just busier than a one armed paper hanger.

As for the rest of the Boyz … I have no clue! The only one who emails with me is Kevin.
(emphasis mine, you betcha.)

Chrissy has rather hilariously siezed the opportunity to turn Hillbuzz into an excuse to post pictures of her hapless grandbaby, whose helpless adorableness is a welcome change from Nana's usual relentless anti-Michelle Obama hatchet-jobs (Conveniently collected on the top menu bar of Hillbuzz for all your hating needs). The story of how he became "Baby Buzz," featured mascot on Grammy's Hate Site, will no doubt be a great ice-breaker when he's a little older.


Meanwhile, where on earth are the Boiz, with their seamlessly acrid, tonally identical, yards-long passive-agressive rants? Last year, regular Hillbuzz readers may remember, they vanished for most of July, leaving the blog dark and the loyal Hillbuzzers baffled, worried, and forlorn.

Harvey has wiped all of the evidence from the blog, but the few remaining Hillbuzzers from last year surely remember his inflounce, which was such a perfect specimen of petulant rationalization that it attracted a certain amount of mockery, and was subsequently pulled. There are two remaining testaments to the whole episode: 1. The Hillbuzz archives: July 2009 is simply missing. And, 2. a single comment in the Time-Out Chicago article about Kevin Dujan and his then-buddy, disgraced (by Dujan himself!) former Chicago Young Republican, Jeremy Rose:

Posted by Girlpower on Tue, Jul 07, 09, at 7:45pm
Hey, Kevin, Your buzz fans miss you! When are you coming home?

There is a great, great deal more about Harvey and his buddy/paramour/whathaveyou, Mr. Rose, which shall come in later posts which were begun earlier and have to be updated as a single person with a regular job tries to keep up with the underemployed and hyperactive multiple personalities over there. But here's something to think on, while we gather our collective, yet singular, breaths: what could be easier than inventing a group and claiming that one is heroically shielding their identities?

brought to you, as always, by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, mostly, with apologies for the irregularity, but unlike certain "consultants" running marathons of begging, Mrs. Polly works!