Friday, October 29, 2010

Hey Kevin, Madame Secretary Called

It Rubs the Stupid On Its Skin
Now it can be revealed! Kevin Dujan's fifth imaginary friend!

--And she wants her cardboard cut-out back, so it can be given to someone who respects her more, like Jon Favreau.

So much craziness, so little time. My apologies to my ones of readers, who have followed this halting narrative ever since Kevin Dujan, (aka "Harvey Bilk", or lately, "Uremic Heap") decided to use me and my then-dormant blog for lucrative target-practice, but life keeps intervening, or else I just don't have the drive of the Mad the way he does. I can barely manage to be one person, for instance, whereas he's managed to dupe his readers into believing that he's a bunch of "boiz," all of whom need support (samoleons)!

I will be continuing to put up posts, and have half-a-dozen going on sale shortly, because, although they're past their freshness date, they're still okay, and won't give you any more of a stomach ache than can be had by reading his awful, awful, blog. So stay tuned, and thank you so much for your more than patience.

brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, constantly falling behind the skulduggery of the skulduggerers, center cannot hold, worst full of passionate intensity, etc etc.


  1. Come on Polly, we know there are 4 or 5 of you, and that you all attended the Beckapolooza!
    However, it seems as if Kevin Dujan had to go by himself, though he held out the begging bowl for enough money for "3 or 4" to attend.
    Something must've come up to prevent all the other "Boyz" from attending the rally, as I did not read about anyone meeting anyone except for Dujan.

  2. But Anon, just because there are no pictures from the Beck rally that the Duj begged the money to attend, nor mention of the Sarah Palin appearance he begged the money to attend, nor mention of any flyers, palm cards, or activity against politicians he begged money to take down, are you suggesting he's running some kind of...racket?

  3. Mrs. Polly, are you at the Stewart-Colbert rally today? You don't have to do anything tiresome like actually being there in person. Just tweet a couple of tweets and get a sockpuppet to claim that they met up with you. We'll believe ya!

  4. Why....why yes, Mary, I am here! Wait, did I remember to beg for money to send me and the other Snarko girlz, Marlene, Barlene, and Wombat, to cover the rally in exhaustive yet curiously featureless detail?

    Nertz, I forgot, didn't I and paid for everything my own self, and boy, who knew I, I mean we, would have such a grand time camping on the Mall, where a saintly woman sat on the ground and sang "I Got A Gal In Kalamazoo" to lull us to sleep?

    You know I, I mean we, were there.

    It's never too late to send money. Really. Did I tell you about all the upgrades to the site I'm planning?

  5. Mrs. Polly, it was such a pleasure to see you at the rally, and boy, was it crowded! And afterward, wasn't it grand how the Mall not only left spotless, but people leaving actually reseeded it as they went?

    XXOOO, Wombat
    (loved your Bumblebee Costume, btw!)

  6. Why Mrs. Polly, you made it sound so real, I thought I was there too. Maybe someone should send me money.

  7. I took a look today and true to form there is a long whiny post up by someone (not Harvey) who just happened to be in DC yesterday, all about how rude and smug and obnoxious and shove-y and messy and hoity-toity the rally attendees were, grinning their smug obnoxious grins and enjoying themselves smugly and obnoxiously and of course the zinger: many of them were given free bus rides to the rally!

    Which seems a little tactless, given that the host of the site is the Moocher-in-Chief. But to these people, irony is (to quote Baldrick) like goldy and bronzey, only made out of iron.

  8. More irony. Harvey Bilk has found an ingenious way to get his wannable cult followers donating to Democratic causes.

    His cultists are so convinced that "the left does not do patriotism" he wants them to play America by Neil Diamond on a jukebox.

    Of course they are too dumb to understand that the song is a highly pro-immigration song directed at those "coming to America".

    One other thing for Mr Buzzard, Neil Diamond is a Democratic Part supporter and has a history of giving large donations to Democratic candidates.

    Should give those Freepers who have doubts about the Buzzards some food for thought.

  9. OMG check out this post:

    He actually says that the Daily Kos caused his name to be "ruined on Google" by calling him a racist.

    The whole thing is priceless.

  10. Anin - I think all the far right sites that jumped to his defence to say Dujan is not a racist" probably helped that.

    I guess the only reason the likes of Malkin and the other Mccain said that he was not a racist is because they never recognised him as one of their own.

  11. Anon: I see Harvey's still obsessed with Keifer, The Man That Got Away (and just in time too).

    The rest of it was tl;dr. But did you notice Harvey's revealing little slip at the beginning? He says he's going to break the fourth wall.

    Actors on TV and in movies "break the fourth wall" when they talk directly to the audience. But if you're blogging, there's no fourth wall. You're already talking directly to your audience.

    Unless of course you're a fake who's pretending to be a cast of thousands and hiding behind the use of "we" and even "they". In which case, interesting little Freudian slip, Harvey.

    Although I'm probably reading too much into this. The most likely explanation is that Harvey saw "breaking the fourth wall" somewhere, thought it was Kool and is using it without understanding what it means.

  12. If he weren't so vicious, he'd be pitiable; evidently unhappy in Cleveland, pariah in Boyztown (because of his politics? There are plenty, sad to say, of conservative gay men-- why is the only homocon to embrace Dujan an online lesbian bassoonist?), invents a bunch of glamooorous buddies with Brideshead ReRan names like "Sebastian" and "Panda" (Don't be surprised if I reuse that,) posts nose-against-the-window pictures of other people enjoying Halloween.

    Then I remember how joyfully he hunts down innocent people, to the point that at least one police report was filed, and his opportunistic bigotry against everything from Muslims to Polish doughnuts to Michelle Obama's complexion, and my sympathy gland cuts off right in midstream.

  13. I couldn't help scrolling through the comments and marvelling at the Buzzettes.

    What's that term I'm looking for, that describes how bunco victims deny their intuitive instincts and refuse to pick up on clues that are staring them in the face?

    Harvey is spelling it out for them, "I'm alone. I have no friends."

    And yet they're so invested in the fantasy of the Boyz that they can't let it go. They keep referring to the Boyz in their comments.

    "You should move to Toronto! Panda would love it!"

    They're denser than a neutron star.

  14. Mary, Mr. Polly has a friend who lost hundreds of thousands to a Madoffian Ponzi scheme, despite his, and all her friends, pleadings. She reacted with fury, not appreciation for their concern, because busting her little fantasy bubble was unforgiveable.

    Suffice it to say, she's in a very bad way now. And has pre-emptively told her friends not to dare say "I told you so."

    Let's hope, for their families' sakes, that the Shillbuzzards don't send Harvey all their money. It's not illegal to tell fictions about the reasons for his begging on the internet.

    He's gone TV preachers one better: they usually promise their marks a little bottle of holy water, or a pamphlet, in return for their contributions. Harvey doesn't offer anything in return for being a Shillbuzzard, except participation in a breathlessly churned-out dimestore novel.

  15. I see Harvey's at it again with another poor, poor pitiful me screed.

    I can't see the Buzzettes putting up with this forever. They must be getting a tad impatient. The FLOTUS and Lisa Murkowski aren't going to vilify themselves, after all. And he must be getting more hits after Rush name-dropped him ... this isn't the kind of thing that will keep his new readers hanging around.

    Is he having some kind of public meltdown?

    Is he grooming the Buzzettes to accept that Hillbuzz=solo Harvey (since the Boyz are afraid to be seen with him)? This doesn't sound like a winner. The Boyz as hip young gays in the middle of the social scene, revelling in their camaraderie and titillating their audience of shut-ins, were one thing. Poor lonely Harvey, social pariah, would be quite another.

    Mrs. Polly, I wasn't around when he attacked you in the first place. Was this how he did it? Maybe he sees his new exposure as another fund-raising opportunity.

    By the way, did you know that Hillbuzz is the 8,000th most popular blog in the US? No, seriously!

  16. Mary, he has meltdowns all the time. He also disappears without warning, for weeks--look at his archives: NO JULY 2009.

    If you google "snarkopolitan" with "Hillbuzz" you will see the original attack. I don't link to him, as he is a rabid nutjob. I put a link to some of my responses to him in every post; it's usually in the small print at the end, but this one has it at the beginning. I'm thinking of collecting them all on a page, now that Blogger lets one do that sort of thing.

    Hillbuzz may be the 8,000th most rubbernecked road-accident, too. The Sadly Noes can't get enough of him:

  17. His USO thread was a complete breakdown and his cultists refuse to believe it was him.

    He has done this before but because this was about charity work and the USO and he attacked a War Widow, they are completely shocked.

    I wonder how he gets out of this. Hillbuzz, the soap opera of blogs.

  18. Mrs. Polly, I had no idea. That thread where they think they have tracked down your address is just appalling.

    I do remember the "in-flounce" last year when Harvey claimed to have come back from attending a friend's funeral and mocked the dead friend's life partner -- who of course didn't suffer half as much as Harvey did. And I have seen some snippy "Omigod would you leave me alone" posts since then.

    But that USO post -- that just went completely pear-shaped, didn't it?

    There doesn't seem to be any followup apology or explanation from Harvey yet.

    And how typical that poor Bev is the one carrying his water. I don't think she has any place else to go.

  19. Thanks, Mary. It was plenty nerve-wracking watching myself being hunted in real time. Luckily, I had friends watching with me, and even a fairly prominent PUMA blogger was supportive. And the Wanted poster Harvey made for Snarkopolitan will be something I will be able to show St Peter as evidence of some kind of righteousness in my life; I'm very proud.

    There will never be an apology from Harvey; he's, as therapists say about their most hopelessly sociopathic cases, "very well-defended."

    After being AWOL for a month, with forlorn little PUMAs lighting candles, meeting on his abandoned blog to say harmless things like "We miss the boyz! Can something have happened to them," Harvey's inflounce was spectacularly defensive, pugnacious, and mean.

    Here he is, sliding the knife into the ribs of his "friend's" bereaved lover of twenty years:
    "After taking so much grief in this summer, we have to tell you, from the bottom of our hearts, that we are tired and are spirits are truly broken. Though he didn’t mean to, Lionel’s partner Todd off-handedly said something that haunts us — this was after the funeral, about a week later, and he was pretty drunk. He gave us a guilt trip for not spending more time with Lionel when he was sick, because we were always busy going to political events or writing on this site. Todd made a jab that entertaining people on the Internet was more important than spending time with a dying friend.

    The next day, when he sobered up, he knew he went too far and apologized.
    No one blames him for lashing out, because as rough as it is to have lost such a good friend, we don’t even want to imagine what it’s like for Todd, since he and Lionel were together for 20+ years, give or take.
    (emphasis mine) That was the memorable August 4, 2009 "Going Forward" post.

    Todd must have felt just wonderful, after that one.

  20. There's certainly a pattern -- a frenzy of posts, then anger, depression and lashing out. The Buzzettes aren't much help with their "Move along, nothing to see here" attitude, but really, what do you do when you realize your favorite blogger is off his meds? If you're Bev 'n' the gals, you just deny, deny, deny. I'll bet their moms said "Daddy's just tired" a lot.

    The inflounce was the first time I'd heard of Harvey but even then I wondered if Todd had really apologized (why would he?) or if this was just Harvey's preferred version of events.