Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hillbuzz: Absolutely Fatuous

Absolutely Fatuous
Why are Pats and Palin depicted in front of the White House? Because they've an equal chance of getting into it, darling.

Pointlessly prolific Harvey Bilk of Shillbuzz loves reruns, and "Class V Crass" is a perennial fave at Harvey's Emporium of Warmed-Over Wingnuttery. It's unsurprising, since his audience demands quantity, not quality, that he should turn to some well-worn classics again and again.

The Lord of the Flies at Shillbuzz uses the series to contrast First Spouse Michelle Obama (no "Lady" for Michelle; rather than call her that, he'll just eschew the term completely!) with First Spouses he prefers, including poor First Drinker Mamie Eisenhower, and, hilariously, LOU HOOVER, much admired for her patience in having to live with the clueless Herbert, who lent his name to so many small cardboard towns during the Great Depression.

Now Shillbuzz has a poll on which First Spouse to slam Michelle with next, as well as the newest installment, which depicts Alaska's Half-First Dude (or is it First Half-Dude? One never is sure about courtesy titles for quitters' spouses) with, of course, Baby Trig, whom he is carefully trying to keep out of the media spotlight, as a caring parent would, you know.

Todd, incidentally, may also bear the honor of being America's first Ominous Shadow Half-Governor, in which case Sarah might just be her own Half First Spouse, or First Half---oh hell, you get the picture. Now that's Mavericky. Anyway, wouldn't having a First Spouse under investigation be exciting! And it doesn't matter which Palin, because both of them have been investigated and found guilty!

While lacking the resources of Shillbuzz's Mystery Photoshopper--and in particular the Photoshop, we* have endeavored to provide just a little of that sort of edgy fun for Snarkopolitan's fives of readers. And doesn't Harvey's beloved Sarah deserve to be compared with the best? So here she is, rocking the same 'do in her retro-ironic way years before Sarah ever picked up the Aqua-Net. Both gals are utilizing their second-favorite props, sporting designer apparel of dubious provenance, and blowing smoke. The difference is that in Pats' case, you know the worst it could be is weed.

Sure, the Class V Crass series seems shallow, pissy, the sort of thing someone does who is seriously underemployed and possessing of a damaged psyche which can only feel good by projecting its self-hatred outward onto an undeserving hate-object. But how can we understand the worldview of one of the globe's formost purveyors of curdled inanity without venturing into his world and trying to see it as he sees it, through his shining little beady rodent eyes?

*brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, and written in the baffling third person à la Shillbuzz, even though we are in fact only one person and only able to bring you intermittent installments on Shillbuzz's exhaustive supply of foolishness, since, unlike a certain "special events planner," we have a job!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Yes, Hillbuzz is JUST THIS STUPID!

Harvey Bilk Says Suck It, Poles!'
Actual, if blinged-out, screencap, just like all the other actual screencaps!

NOW do you believe me? In the previous post, a commenter was incredulous that the proprietor of Shillbuzz, Harvey Bilk, could be so remarkably pea-brained as to think that Air Force One could survive a "direct nuclear blast" (Harvey's words, my hand to God).

Harvey was merely parroting the wingnut line that Obama deliberately snubbed Poland by not taking the Rolls-Royce engines of Air-Force One through a volcanic dust cloud to the funeral for the Polish president (secret shorter wingnut: oh, why did it have to be POLAND!), because Harvey is all about upholding the dignity of ethnic minorities, particularly the plentiful, Dem-voting ones in Shillbuzz's current crash-pad, Chicago.

But there was a time when Harvey was less concerned with the Polish community, a time not very long ago, in fact, just this last Paczki Day, which as it happens is the last Tuesday or Thursday before Lent. The Poles' version of a pre-Lenten blowout involves consuming the eponymous Paczki, which are delightful little jam-bloated fried cakes.

Some of us go for feather masks and demeaning ourselves for beads on balconies, and some of us go for jam-bloated fried cakes, and far be it from me to cast aspersions on either camp. But Harvey Bilk worked himself up into a purplish-green lather over Paczki Day, because he's A-MURRICAN! HE celebrates Mardi-Gras, not some damn old European thingie from tradition-riddled stupid old Europe. He even took it out on the paczki, acidly referring to them as "jelly donuts," as if that were a bad thing.

Friends, Poles, Cajun-Americans, I ask you: what sort of a man attacks a people's donuts (sic)?

Harvey's anti-Polish Donut Rant above is still available, I think, for a while, at his website, until he tumbles to the amount of pointing and laughing he's getting (there's your bump in traffic, Harvey!) at how spectacularly silly and floridly insane he is. Then, the Polish Donut Rant will join some of his other fine work (including the much-missed Inflounce Post, July 2009, which would have embarrassed Aimee Semple McPherson) in the recycle bin of Intertubal history.

brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, thanks to the defibrillator paddles of this same Harvey Bilk, and somewhat behind schedule as usual, since, unlike "events coordinator" Harvey, Mrs. Polly works!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Hillbuzz Racking Up The Frequent Failure Miles

Shillbuzzing Air Force One
When you've nothing to go on, don't let that stop you

It is simply impossible to keep up with Shillbuzz's Frequent Flier Program for Nonstop Stupidity. Harvey Bilk, who operates Shillbuzz, dropped this bit of atomic foolishness the other day at his One Stop All You Can Hate Shack: the President deliberately didn't go to Poland because he just didn't want to!

That Icelandic volcano which grounded air traffic throughout Europe had nothing to do with it-- Air Force One is capable of surviving a direct nuclear blast!!! Yess!!!!! You can lob warheads at it all day, and the President's hand won't even tremble as he signs another government takeover bill with his damned lefty pen!

It's nice to see that "Special Events Coordinator" Harvey has taken a breather from his coordinating to dash off this charmingly vivid scenario with all of his usual attention to accuracy. Imagine how good he must be at coordinating events.

brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, revived to its owner's astonishment, and sporadically exploring manifold idiocy, when we aren't too busy with other things, because unlike certain "special events coordinators," we work for a living!