Saturday, November 15, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
if you happen to want to know
Awwww. It's a boy! The vast conspiracy to make Indonesian/Kenyan/Krypton-born Barack Obama the leader of the Free World has to be admired for its foresight. From Factcheck.org comes this little extra: a birth announcement, found by an unhappy Hillary supporter, placed in a Honolulu newspaper in 1961.
No comment from the assorted borderline personalities who have made it their urgent mission to prove Obama is not a native-born American and so derail his presidency. There are still lawsuits being pressed by Philip Berg, and the PUMAs are relying on one Edwin Veira, a fine representative of the legal profession who insists that Obama stand up and produce his birth certificate (a description of which, along with photos of the birth certificate being held by factcheck.org staffers is available at that non-partisan site) or step down from the office he has been running for for the last two years.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
At 6:40 A.M., less than five blocks from Ground Zero, I voted for Barack Obama for President of the United States. Barack Hussein Obama, who, while he will make mistakes, will never make them out of carelessness, lack of inquiry, pique, or false bravado.
And that's why I trust him with my safety, living less than five blocks from Ground Zero.
Let this horrible screaming downward spiral be ended at last. And yes, voting for the first African-American President, as all outward signs indicate he will be, was a momentous, gigantic, glorious thrill. There were so many reasons to vote for him, and reasons to vote against the poor shell of a man that used to be John McCain, but above all, to have a President who falls within the reasonable bounds of human decency after eight years (and perhaps a little more), that is most gratifying of all.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
He was okay with himself even after Shepherd Smith of Fox (!) gave him every chance to back away from his cheerful, unmalicious, unthinking, devastating slander of a major public figure.
He has happily embraced the same media that McCain and Palin have been demonizing, finding the "media filter" suits him fine. He always has a word or two for whatever microphone sticks its tempting self under his nose. He was a familiar caller to right-wing talk shows in the area.
ALERT! JUST IN-A FEW FUN FICTS FROM THE MAVERICK
Fun, because they are fictional facts, so lets jump in on the neologism-coining craze and call them FICTS. These are courtesy of intrepid newshound Larry King at CNN, the Network that Said NO to Obama's paid infomercial, and replaced it with a free infomercial for McCain: John Sidney McCain III is from humble beginnings. Although he is the son and grandson of admirals, flew and crashed one airplane after another, fortunately not onto the airfield that bears his own name, and was admitted to elite schools and programs on the strength of his last name, intrepid newshound Larry King managed to worm out of him that he came from humble beginnings. There's a scoop for you.
Another scoop is his plan for the economy: he's going to grow it. And there you have it, my friends, the detail you 've been craving that Obama's afraid to give: John McCain will GROW the economy right out of this mess.
Thank You, and Good Night.
Oh, you want more? Okay.
He will give tax cuts just like Reagan did, and that will grow the economy. Intrepid newshound Larry King did not point out that Reagan left the economy wobbling around carrying the biggest honking deficit it ever had to heft, or that Reagan didn't come in looking at a deficit there aren't enough zeroes in cyberspace to express.
The third and final scoop of the evening: he's delighted with Sarah Palin's maverickiness, and whenever she's around, he finds her presence uplifting. Oh, there are a lot of comedians who are grateful to him just for that last sentence. She's going to drag him up to ANWAR and show him how she dresses those meese.
That's more than enough scoops from McCain for one night. Apologies to Stephen Colbert, whose concept "truthiness" has had every damn body on the Internet trying to come up with a better neologism. There is no better neologism, but "Ficts" fills a needed gap, I think; while truthy things seem like they ought to be true, Ficts are obviously truth-challenged, if not truth-deprived, and depend on the kindness of strangers (like intrepid newshound Larry King) not to challenge their existence.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
- Her FaceBook page, which was screencaptured before it was taken down, has a statement about how much fun it is to lie.
- She called the McCain campaign office BEFORE she called the police.
- Security cameras showed she wasn't even an ATM customer.
- Here is a photo from her flickr page, showing her holding a sign she lettered. That "R" sure looks familiar! http://www.flickr.com/photos/lifeinthefield/2962501339/
Thursday, October 23, 2008
This scandal is so plump, so tasty, how best can we excise every glorious morsel and not miss a single tidbit?
The Washington Post Pulitzer Prize-winning fashion editor missed all of it. She wrote a piece about Sarah Palin's unassuming, fashion-free middle-class "non-assertive" outfits.
She didn't notice the red leather jacket (Jon Stewart accused Palin of borrowing Michael Jackson's "Thrilla" jacket)? Or the dominatrix boots, or the Judy Garland over-the-bridge-to-nowhere-red-spangled-F-me-pumps? Or the chartreuse raw silk jacket? Or the bell-sleeved fitted jackets, with the little bow at the waist?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
G. Gordon Liddy with his favorite party trick: demonstrating what a sick puppy he is by holding his hand over an open flame and leaving it there until his dinner partner begs him to stop. You want to talk palling around with terrorists? Alrighty, let's do:
G. Gordon Liddy, on his show August 26, 1994: "Now if the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms comes to disarm you and they are bearing arms, resist them with arms. Go for a xxxx (I know this quote is widely known, but I am not going to further disseminate the handy agent-killing tips Liddy is handing out)shot; they're going to be wearing bulletproof vests....They've got a big target on there, ATF. Don't shoot at that, because they've got a vest on underneath that. xxxx shots, xxxx shots.... Kill the sons of bitches."
John McCain on G. Gordon Liddy's show in 2007: "I'm proud of you, I'm proud of your family....It's always a pleasure for me to come on your program, Gordon, and congratulations on your continued success and adherence to the principles and philosophies that keep our nation great."
Contrast the the repeated statements of friendship and support between McCain and G.Gordon Liddy (who on his radio show advocated shooting Federal Agents, recommended methods for doing so, and never apologised for doing so) with the limited, formal contacts between Obama and Ayers.
Liddy is even now living off the notoriety he got for his crimes. He continues to have extremist views, but because he's an entertaining old sociopath, he's given a pass, even sought out for validation. One of the sicker aspects of humanity is that people seem to get a thrill from feeling they're accepted by a man who boasts that he's capable of murder.
Ayres went back to school and became an expert in the field of education. He's lived a non-radical life quietly contributing to society for the past thirty years, working with prominent Republicans like Walter Annenberg. Ayres does not live off of or benefit from having been a criminal, the way Liddy does. There are good reasons why he would be on a board along with Obama, none of them having to do with his radical past. The focus was on improving education.
There are no good reasons to associate with G. Gordon Liddy. He offers no expertise, has done nothing to rehabilitate himself, and openly flouts the law by keeping firearms though he is a convicted felon (Registered to his wife, but kept under his side of the bed). But he does have a radio show. The focus of his and McCain's association is mutual self-aggrandizement.
This tactic is not a winner for the Republicans. McCain and Palin are pointing out the speck in Obama's eye so as to draw attention away from the log in theirs.And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The worst faux-pas since "We Have Got Them Right Where We Want Them!" :
Yes, having our opponents 10 points ahead of us allows us to keep an eye on them, the sneaky Arab bast**ds!
Mr. Polly thought McCain had won, just, with the fabulous "I'm not George Bush" line. If this was the best line of the night, it was a pathetic night, say I, Mrs. Polly. Remember the old apocryphal story about LBJ calling his opponent a child molester, and after an aide points out the opponent isn't a child molester, LBJ says, "I know, but I just want to hear him deny it."? Well how is it a zinger for McCain to have to deny he's George Bush?
Of course, I couldn't bear to look directly at the event; as usual, I read about it as others live-blogged, while Mr. Polly gave me updates. I'm easily nauseated, and tonight I'm still a delicate, Dresden China-frail blossom, having had oral surgery. So add the debate to the presoftened, lukewarm swill I require. Like much of the rest of America. But I had my gums sliced to ribbons, what's their excuse?
It's fun to see the pundits check each other in their peripheral vision, trying to get a read on what they ought to conclude about what just went on right in front of them, and adjust accordingly. Tonight, as for the first debate, several went out on a limb and called it for McCain only to have the focus groups and snap polls reprove them. And this after everyone, even Public Radio people, got totally obsessed with the CNN Wiggly Line of Damnation! The CNN Wiggles plainly favored Obama, particularly the female wiggles. How could anybody sit through 90 minutes of line watching and call the debate for McCain?
Well, time to take a Vicodin and go on the Oral Surgery Opiate Nod. Kids, remember to floss after every meal, snack, or accidental inhalation of particulate matter. It's important.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
That's all for now! But wait for our next installment, in which we find out how much cheese six hundred thousand dollars will buy, and meet a little girl who just happens to love cows.
Friday, October 10, 2008
- Gross but entertaining incompetence
- Bucolic setting
- Love of Cows
- Cheese Futures
Did you say CHEESE FUTURES? Oh yes I did!
Well if you want something done, sometimes you just have to do it yourself. The Mat Maid Dairy Scandal is a bit involved, so I will explicate it in comic-book form as best I can, considering my limited experience with either comics or cows. This is the first installment: here you see Alaska tax dollars, simply buckets of them, ready to pour into the Mat Maid Dairy by charmingly demented Governor Sarah Palin, whose very good friends happen to own cows whose milk is bought up by that same dairy.
I have depicted her on a field of Cheesy Orange which shows off her tanned shoulders. She looks great in anything, especially cheese. Cheese is her color.
Tomorrow, I will start the comic proper, and we will learn why the Mat Maid Dairy needed buckets of money, how badly it was failing, what Governor Palin did about it, and to whom she did it.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
BUT it's about John McCain's temper! Which I am in a mood to highlight. After all, he two-facedly came out swinging at his opponent the day AFTER the match. That's not the MacNasty we need! But it seems that he can control himself if the opponent can hurt him back---aside from the contempt which leaks out of him in dribs and drabs. Is "That One" a drib or a drab?
Today, McCain and Palin continued to push the notion that Obama is a dangerous foreigner with terrorist ties, using half-truths, exaggerations and distortions. For instance, Obama served on the board of a charity with former Weather Underground member William Ayres. The charity was founded by Walter Annenberg, a conservative Republican and founder of Reader's Digest. But does anyone think he was a terrorist sympathizer?
At McCain and Palin rallies, shouts of "Kill him!" "Terrorist!" and "Cut off his head!" have been reported, but neither McCain nor Palin have said anything to calm down the mob mentality they seem to be cultivating. They simply repeat, "Who is Barack Obama?" as if it were Obama who'd been pulled out of obscurity five weeks ago and not Sarah Palin.
One day, people may deny that they were at McCain/Palin rallies the way older folks deny having been McCarthyites now. My folks once attended a McCarthy rally on a lark. Bad idea. My post on it: http://snarkopolitan.blogspot.com/2008/05/laughing-at-mccarthy-rally-bad-for.html
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Alaskan Independence Party founder Joe Voegler:"The fires of Hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government, and I won’t be buried under their damn flag!"
The AIP insists Voegler didn’t die in a plastics explosive deal gone sour, but that’s the official story. And Sarah’s message to the AIP? "Keep up the good work!"
Friday, October 3, 2008
NO CLOTHES! NO CLOTHES!
The empress has been buck-naked from the get-go, pardon the folksiness. Her same canned speech, broken up and written on notecards, dispensed in small chunks after she declared her intention to ignore the moderator, made the fear that she would be wired under that beehive completely superfluous. Why bother simulating being knowledgeable? She's, like, only been at this for what, five weeks! She can bring her notecards to her next sit-down with the G-8. Angela Merkel will melt once she's been winked at. But will she wink at Sarah Palin?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
But what sort of attitude is that? No sort of attitude for a New York born survivalist. And SHE happened. Sarah Palin. She can dress a moose.
But I can dress her.
Friday, May 30, 2008
He started out his press conference defending the construction company, saying that construction fatalities happened all over the world---he came thisclose to saying construction fatalities are just the cost of doing business, and was clearly annoyed at being challenged about how many we have had.
The New York we know, aside from the big tourist attractions, is disappearing--all the nicer old buildings are being torn down for the crime of being too short, so blue glass condos, like the "Azure", the building with the crane, can be built--each one with a red plastic bank branch on the ground floor. All at breakneck speed. I can see three such cranes from my window.
Wonderful Town is dying, to be replaced by dangerous but dull CondoMallopolis. And our flinty little billionaire mayor is at the helm.
EXCELLENT JOB, BLOOMIE!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
We thought a relative peace would reign. No more fliers slipped under our doors with headlines like:
Well, we haven't had more of those, but we've had something better: a newsletter from our state senator, declaring his devotion to us. Very exciting! He's never felt the need to communicate with *Muttonchop City residents by you-the-taxpayer-funded newsletter before. But here he is, with the *Muttonchop City Report, a First Edition:
So you the taxpayer get to pay for Senator Neville's apologia for signing on to a bill that would return some of your tax money to you--the taxpayer.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Here are our two candidates, *Vincent Piano, co-founder of our little anti-priv***z**** (ends in "atization")group, Muttonchop Ethical Housing, and *Nora Kerrigan, steadfast and even pugnacious ex-nun, drowning their sorrows at *the Eire Inn, the Muttonchop City pub.
Vincent is ordering his usual: apple pie with chocolate ice cream. He's also partial to Dewar's. Nora likes a good spicy Bloody Mary but I have unaccountably given her a martini.
The third person is Hannah Goldman, our main writer and incendiary device thrower. She could be drinking the martini; I left some ambiguity between drinks and hands. In fact, she likes her bloody Mary spicy but more important, large.
Hannah and Vincent initially loathed each other; she is a feminist, atheist, activist, red-diaper anthropologist, and he is a nineteenth century, courtly, Roman Catholic . He is Cyrano without the nose.
Now they are closeasthis. They collaborate: Vincent writes elaborate, impenetrable disquisitions; Hannah brutally edits them into Hannah-style bulleted lists, with footnotes, and always the admonition:
"MUTTONCHOP RIGHTS IS TRYING TO (FILL IN THE BLANK)--DON'T LET THEM!
*all names, appearances and search terms changed to protect the Pollys from the wrath of their lovely neighbors.