Monday, August 16, 2010

Hillbuzz: Use "Victory Mosque" For Political Win!

Cheerfully sociopathic Harvey Bilk is not one to mince words:

"YOU need to help us brainstorm creative ways to take down the Democrat Party with this Islamic Victory Mosque issue.

First up, calling it the “Victory Mosque” is key. Get that into every dialogue on this issue. Make that the term that’s used in debate. The idea of a “Victory Mosque”

Does it matter to Harvey that the "Mosque" is more like the YMCA, complete with swimming pool, the Imam is a friend of Grover Norquist AND George Bush? Or that the Cordoba Center has extensive Jewish and Christian support? No, not as long as there's a hatred to exploit for his own purposes.

In the sad history of cynical operators, idealogues, and innocents, we know where Harvey lands. He hasn't the courage of any convictions, save that power is fun, and he's going to get him some, no matter the cost to anybody else.

Well, Harvey, you are not the only person who can retitle a facility for your own conniving purposes. From here on in, I suggest that genuine lovers of freedom of expression, religious and otherwise, refer to YMCAs as, "Victory Cathedrals," and learn to bend our vocal chords around the following tune:

It's fun to stay at the Vic-To-Ree Cathedral,

It's fun to stay at the Vic-To-Ree Cathedral....

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, shocked to life by this very same Harvey Bilk, and fruitlessly searching for brains ever since.

Hillbuzz: RRRaaacist Or Not? YOU Be The Judge! Tonight's Show: "Especially If They're Black"

Reader Retention Shillbuzz Style
"I don't see why it's wrong; what think you?"

The following headline from the awful blog that once tried to make a meal out of poor old neglected Snarkopolitan falls into a category of communication that I like to call Questions That Answer Themselves:

QUESTION: Should children of a president never be criticized (especially if they are black)?

That, of course, would be Lord of the Flies at Hillbuzz, Harvey Bilk, artlessly wondering, in his sociopathic way, why he shouldn't light into the first daughters, since they may not be Obama's daughters at all; daughters that perfect couldn't come from those parents, and besides, they look nothing like him!

This although, Harvey airily admits (still writing in the imaginary plural),

"it’s something that’s never occurred to us before, because we never write about the current “president’s” daughters and have never bothered to learn which of the girls is which."

Yes! He just can't tell the Obama girls apart! But let's cut him some slack; after all, we know Harvey isn't interested in shallow, mutable, deceiving externals like personal appearance.

All right, I'm better now. I had to lie down for a minute with a gin bottle pressed against my forehead.

"we really don’t believe they’re even his girls, because they look nothing like him," sniffs Harvey, before going on to delight his collection of sissy-hating Hillbuzzers with a little Obama-centered homophobia,

"and because the current “president” is a closeted gay man we have a very hard time believing has ever slept with a woman…let alone the person who is the current “First Spouse.”

(Wishing may not make it so, but quotation marks come close.)

Most of Harvey's commenters, while less tone-deaf than Dr. Laura's would-be Soul Sister, rationalize away their joy in shredding the President's children because questioning their parentage and snarking their clothing is not aimed at the cheeldren; their mother dresses them! Nine-year-old Sasha (described by Dujan's one actuall co-blogger, "Grammy Hillbuzz," as having "weird feet"), wouldn't feel upset at having her parentage questioned and her clothing called ugly, now, would she? The Hillbuzzers are just concerned.

But, one commenter wonders, when will we get back to Harvey's real point, which is the terrible privations he suffers not being able to criticize the President's children, since they are black?

sophie Says:

August 15, 2010 at 9:22 pm
I think the original post raised a larger question ? Can we never criticize racial minorities, or risk being viewed as racists?
I think the Obama’s have been handled with the softest of kid gloves on this issue, to the detriment of our country.

Finally! After a number of commenters dropped the ball, arguing with a "troll" who objected to their even discussing the children, Sophie gets the whole picture: it's time to take off the kid gloves and get to work. Harvey has the answer he wanted at last.

Brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, at sporadic intervals because unlike certain "events coordinators," Mrs. Polly works for her money!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dujan-Vue: Hillbuzz Boiz AWOL, All One Of Them.

Howdy Vanilla and All The Hillbuzz Boiz
Lord of the Flies Harvey Bilk conferring with a few of his imaginary friends.

First, for passers-by, why isn't the author of this little blog out admiring the heliotrope instead of devoting so much space to repeatedly slamming a larger, obviously crazy blog? Context here. Now then.

For pity's sake, clueless Hillbuzzers: there are no other "Boiz." New co-blogger/scullery wench "Chrissy the Hyphenated" (Nitwit-American?), when she was given the drudge work exquisite privilege of writing full posts for Harvey Bilk, didn't expect that she would suddenly become a solo act. But Harvey has gone missing, for days, without a word to his people. And none of the other "boiz" who make up the Hillbuzz brand have the cojones to come forward and fill in! But Chrissy isn't worried; she has "mommy instincts":

chrissythehyphenated Says:

August 5, 2010 at 10:35 am
I have gotten a few email from Kevin this week about two things — designing a new site for Hillbuzz and a humongous annual gay festival in Chi-town this weekend.

He wanted me to do something graphic for the festival, but hasn’t sent me the base graphic, which would only require him to snap and email one photo.

Based on these tiny clues, my well-honed mommy instincts suggest he’s physically fine, just busier than a one armed paper hanger.

As for the rest of the Boyz … I have no clue! The only one who emails with me is Kevin.

(emphasis mine, you betcha.)

Chrissy has rather hilariously siezed the opportunity to turn Hillbuzz into an excuse to post pictures of her hapless grandbaby, whose helpless adorableness is a welcome change from Nana's usual relentless anti-Michelle Obama hatchet-jobs (Conveniently collected on the top menu bar of Hillbuzz for all your hating needs). The story of how he became "Baby Buzz," featured mascot on Grammy's Hate Site, will no doubt be a great ice-breaker when he's a little older.

Meanwhile, where on earth are the Boiz, with their seamlessly acrid, tonally identical, yards-long passive-agressive rants? Last year, regular Hillbuzz readers may remember, they vanished for most of July, leaving the blog dark and the loyal Hillbuzzers baffled, worried, and forlorn.

Harvey has wiped all of the evidence from the blog, but the few remaining Hillbuzzers from last year surely remember his inflounce, which was such a perfect specimen of petulant rationalization that it attracted a certain amount of mockery, and was subsequently pulled. There are two remaining testaments to the whole episode: 1. The Hillbuzz archives: July 2009 is simply missing. And, 2. a single comment in the Time-Out Chicago article about Kevin Dujan and his then-buddy, disgraced (by Dujan himself!) former Chicago Young Republican, Jeremy Rose:

Posted by Girlpower on Tue, Jul 07, 09, at 7:45pm
Hey, Kevin, Your buzz fans miss you! When are you coming home?

There is a great, great deal more about Harvey and his buddy/paramour/whathaveyou, Mr. Rose, which shall come in later posts which were begun earlier and have to be updated as a single person with a regular job tries to keep up with the underemployed and hyperactive multiple personalities over there. But here's something to think on, while we gather our collective, yet singular, breaths: what could be easier than inventing a group and claiming that one is heroically shielding their identities?

brought to you, as always, by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, mostly, with apologies for the irregularity, but unlike certain "consultants" running marathons of begging, Mrs. Polly works!