Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dujan-Vue: Hillbuzz Boiz AWOL, All One Of Them.

Howdy Vanilla and All The Hillbuzz Boiz
Lord of the Flies Harvey Bilk conferring with a few of his imaginary friends.

First, for passers-by, why isn't the author of this little blog out admiring the heliotrope instead of devoting so much space to repeatedly slamming a larger, obviously crazy blog? Context here. Now then.

For pity's sake, clueless Hillbuzzers: there are no other "Boiz." New co-blogger/scullery wench "Chrissy the Hyphenated" (Nitwit-American?), when she was given the drudge work exquisite privilege of writing full posts for Harvey Bilk, didn't expect that she would suddenly become a solo act. But Harvey has gone missing, for days, without a word to his people. And none of the other "boiz" who make up the Hillbuzz brand have the cojones to come forward and fill in! But Chrissy isn't worried; she has "mommy instincts":

chrissythehyphenated Says:

August 5, 2010 at 10:35 am
I have gotten a few email from Kevin this week about two things — designing a new site for Hillbuzz and a humongous annual gay festival in Chi-town this weekend.

He wanted me to do something graphic for the festival, but hasn’t sent me the base graphic, which would only require him to snap and email one photo.

Based on these tiny clues, my well-honed mommy instincts suggest he’s physically fine, just busier than a one armed paper hanger.

As for the rest of the Boyz … I have no clue! The only one who emails with me is Kevin.

(emphasis mine, you betcha.)

Chrissy has rather hilariously siezed the opportunity to turn Hillbuzz into an excuse to post pictures of her hapless grandbaby, whose helpless adorableness is a welcome change from Nana's usual relentless anti-Michelle Obama hatchet-jobs (Conveniently collected on the top menu bar of Hillbuzz for all your hating needs). The story of how he became "Baby Buzz," featured mascot on Grammy's Hate Site, will no doubt be a great ice-breaker when he's a little older.


Meanwhile, where on earth are the Boiz, with their seamlessly acrid, tonally identical, yards-long passive-agressive rants? Last year, regular Hillbuzz readers may remember, they vanished for most of July, leaving the blog dark and the loyal Hillbuzzers baffled, worried, and forlorn.

Harvey has wiped all of the evidence from the blog, but the few remaining Hillbuzzers from last year surely remember his inflounce, which was such a perfect specimen of petulant rationalization that it attracted a certain amount of mockery, and was subsequently pulled. There are two remaining testaments to the whole episode: 1. The Hillbuzz archives: July 2009 is simply missing. And, 2. a single comment in the Time-Out Chicago article about Kevin Dujan and his then-buddy, disgraced (by Dujan himself!) former Chicago Young Republican, Jeremy Rose:

Posted by Girlpower on Tue, Jul 07, 09, at 7:45pm
Hey, Kevin, Your buzz fans miss you! When are you coming home?


There is a great, great deal more about Harvey and his buddy/paramour/whathaveyou, Mr. Rose, which shall come in later posts which were begun earlier and have to be updated as a single person with a regular job tries to keep up with the underemployed and hyperactive multiple personalities over there. But here's something to think on, while we gather our collective, yet singular, breaths: what could be easier than inventing a group and claiming that one is heroically shielding their identities?

brought to you, as always, by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, mostly, with apologies for the irregularity, but unlike certain "consultants" running marathons of begging, Mrs. Polly works!

11 comments:

  1. There is a great, great deal more about Harvey and his buddy/paramour/whathaveyou, Mr. Rose

    Well, I'm dying to hear it. I knew there had to be some reason why Harvey was devoting time to some obscure local meshugaas instead of giving Sarah another tongue bath, but it didn't seem worth wading through reams of his turgid prose to find out. So thanks for clearing that up and I await your further revelations.

    I hear Jeremy has resigned from whatever he did for the Young Republicans. Perhaps he has Harvey duct-taped in his basement?

    And as for Granny Hillbuzz, am I going to hell for letting out an involuntary snort of amusement when I read her proud claim to be "disabled" and living on Social Security? Sorry, it just seemed so perfect somehow. If she could get out of the house, you know she'd be at the nearest Tea Party rally with a sign saying "Keep the government out of my Medicare".

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  2. Mary, straight to hell for both of us: the Great Patriot anti-soshallista would be forced out into the world of noxious fumes if it weren't for her Social Security benefit. Now, she can sit home and blog her heart out, protected from off-gassing paraphanalia by off-gassing paraphanalia, as that ozonizer she depicts herself wearing is a complete scam; even if ozonizers did work to protect people from viruses and allergens, that thing isn't big enough to stun a fly. And she's lucky, too; if it were large enough to be effective, she'd be an even sicker lady than she is now.

    No sign of any of the other BOIZ, by the way; you think one of them would help Chrissy out, since she's ill.....

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  3. Harvey's made a brief appearance, somewhat low-key for him -- no pouting, no flouncing, no mocking a dead friend's partner this time -- but he seems to have brought some "friends" with him.

    I don't visit the site often enough to know, but "Illinois politico" and "Chicagoan" -- sockpuppets or what? Even some of the Buzzettes are suspicious.

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  4. Mary, death of a close friend only works as an excuse once, even if the friend's imaginary. I haven't had time to look closely at Illinois Politico and Chicagoan, but seems to me their writing is less mockably florid than Harvey's. And as we know from "roxy vanilla," he can NOT tone it down.

    I think one thing that brought Harvey back was Chrissy the Uslessly Masked (if it's that bad, you need a respirator, Chrissy!) taking over the blog with grandkids and health complaints. And getting more comments for them than Harvey's Chicago mud wrestling got.

    And now they're tossing Hillary under the bus! She's soiled, Soros's daughter hosted Chelsea's wedding, etc. Harvey's turn-and-sting (LOVE the woman, and it HURTS US to have to say this, BUT) has released the Shillbuzzers from their obligation to any pretense that they support her. Goodbye, PUMA!

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  5. The death article is still there

    http://hillbuzz.org/2009/08/04/going-forward/

    complete with all the PUMAs. Their goodbye to Hillary shtick isn't new, it's been done before, when they published their (in)famous George Bush is a hero post that had Rush Limpballs praising them to high heaven as his Chicago babes.

    Regardless of the attacks on Saint Hillary of Pantsuit, the PUMAs will still love the boiz.

    Hope you are all well.

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  6. Harvey keeps popping up from time to time in between Granny Hillbuzz's laments about her "puter", and his latest is a doozy. Apparently Obama's comments about Cordoba House are so offensive that they've alienated even Obots like his friend Phillip, whose favorite video is of an elderly lady being raped by a golden retriever. So Obama's lost even his hard-core degenerate base!

    Given that the Buzzettes are probably all elderly ladies who live in fear of being raped by golden retrievers, Harvey's certainly pushing the right buttons.

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  7. Mrs. Polly,

    He's baaaack!!! Check this out: http://hillbuzz.org/2010/08/14/our-future-a-new-site-coming/

    He speaks about himself in the third person as K. He's "Atlas, carrying all that weight" of the blog!!

    And he actually has the balls to say he's always wanted to be a Marine but couldn't because he's gay. I don't even know how to respond to that. It just makes me think of the many women who disguised themselves as men to fight in the Civil War.

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  8. MaryRC -- I think that's the most disgusting post he's ever written. Christ on a saltine, what a pissy little shit.

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  9. Anonymous 1: Harvey's done this before -- claiming that he has big plans to expand the site, please send money. But I'm guessing that this time his intention is to drop the fictional Boyz and re-launch the site as Just Kevin and is getting the Buzzettes used to the idea.

    Anonymous 2: Isn't he vile? Just when you think he can't go any lower, he does. I'm afraid to find out how he intends to top this one.

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  10. Mary, he always, always, manages to go lower. He still hasn't kicked Michelle's dead father around, but there are two and a half years to go--he'll get to it.

    And since he has the strength of the Mad (I really think he may be manic; how else would he be able to pour out kilometers of seamless, curdled vapidity so rapidly?), I find myself falling further and further behind. My apologies.

    Notice how his commenters manage to rationalize away their ripping on the daughters' clothes by assuming they're all picked out by Michelle. Sasha is nine, and I'm sure she's got as much of an opinion on her wardrobe as I had at that age. And I've not seen anything on the girls that didn't look age-appropriate and cute. So cute that Harvey can't bear to think they're related to his hate-object.
    I haven't seen the K post yet, as it's been a long week and I'm but a poor female subject to evil humours, which reading too much Harvey causes me to fall into. But I'll get to it.

    Just need some Vick's to dab beneath my nose first.

    And thank you everybody for bearing with my sporadic schedule!

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  11. You would think that their commentators would, perhaps, have some basic human decency - but no not on hillbuzz

    "In a way Kosovo is a monument to Islamic conquests. Originally a Serbian city, after conquest by the Ottoman Empire, laws were enacted favoring Muslims so much that the original inhabitants were forced out. Of course, Yugoslavia finally splintered, the Serbs wanted Kosovo back. And the UN, including the US, intervened to protect the Muslims."

    The Hizzbullers supporting war criminals who once again gave Europe concentration camps.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/1633582.stm

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