Sunday, November 28, 2010

Hillbuzz: Trowel Dissection 101

The One, The Loud--
Go ahead, Harvey--live your dream!

"The greatest regret in my life is that I couldn’t wear the uniform and serve this country as a Marine." --Kevin Dujan, .

Well now, that's a shame, but Kevin, you should take heart--and Snarkopolitan would be proud to assist you in a little bit of self-actualization. Reading your 1100-word lament was so heart-rending that we (that is, "I"--bad Polly! You know there's only one of you!) forgive you for targeting this then-defunct, now alive-and-kicking blog. Snarko is here due to you, Harvey Bilk! So let us help you walk tall.

Although, at 33 (Jesus' age!) you are now officially too old to enlist in the Marines proper, there are plenty of other branches of the service willing to take you, especially now that DADT is on its way out. Recruiters are now openly ignoring DADT. Of course, many other LGBTs didn't let DADT stop them and just lived with being closeted the best they could, the better to serve their country. Here is a link to OUTSERVE, an organization specifically for LGBT military. The culture is changing; my supervisor, who served four tours of duty in active combat in both Iraq wars, said, "Why should I care what the guy is holding the gun, long as he can cover me?"

Here are the maximum ages for enlistment in the service. You can see that you're well within range for a number of branches!

Army - 42 (must ship to basic training prior to 42nd birthday)
Air force - 27
Navy - 34
Marines - 28
Coast Guard - 27. Note: Up to age 32 for those selected to attend A-school directly up to enlistment (this is mostly for prior service).

Army Reserves - 42 (must ship to basic training prior to 42nd birthday)
Army National Guard - 35 (changed from 42 in 2009)
Air Force Reserve - 34
Air National Guard 40 (Change from 34 in Aug 2009)
Navaol Reserves - 39
Marine corps Reserve - 29
Coast Guard Reserves - Age 39

There you go. Even if you're a little out of shape, there's no better health club than the one they have at the local base--my friend's cousin Debbie was 48, overweight, and diabetic. She'd been in the Guard in the '80s, and was called back, whipped into shape at Fort Drum, and shipped out to drive trucks in Iraq. They obviously need people. One of those people could be you! It's terrible to see a young man pining for what he thinks is unattainable, when it's actually within his grasp. Go for it, Kevin!
Never Give Up!
Never Surrender! Fix Garden Implements! Do it for Cleveland!

You're welcome.

*Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, thanks to the tender ministrations of Kevin Dujan. **Special Note to Kevin: the military stuff is good, but to really bring in the sawbucks, needs MOAR NUNS ; ^ }

*Snarkofriend and fellow prosecutee, Betty Cracker, has an uproarious "graphic novelini" devoted to the $hillbuzz Executive Decision-making Process. Go and laugh!


  1. Consider this a kind of "deep throat" breadcrumb drop. Provided to you based on your recent expressions of kindness toward a group of "refubees" escaping the cult of all things Dujan. For the sake of expediency I will provide the puzzle pieces and you can establish the picture.

    First: Grabbing the thread post times from Hillbuzz (aka. Mr. Liar in Chief Kevin Dujan)
    dated 11/25:
    November 25, 2010 at 8:28 pm- Playing cards thread
    November 25, 2010 at 8:15 pm- TSA scanner thread
    November 25, 2010 at 8:03 pm- Palin TG thread
    November 25, 2010 at 7:03 pm- TG Hatemail thread
    November 25, 2010 at 3:50 pm- Michelle Antionette thread
    November 25, 2010 at 2:02 pm- Modern Turkey thread
    November 25, 2010 at 10:26 am- Rahm Emanuel thread
    November 25, 2010 at 4:19 am- Tea Party CEO thread
    November 25, 2010 at 3:18 am- Cool Whip Pretzel thread
    November 25, 2010 at 2:25 am- Federalism thread
    November 25, 2010 at 2:18 am- TG survey question thread
    November 25, 2010 at 1:58 am- Cocktail party “Bush” thread
    November 25, 2010 at 1:42 am- Christine O’Donnell DWTS thread
    November 25, 2010 at 12:55 am- TG Day Open Thread
    *(note times are ‘Central’ time zone)

    Then today this indulgent series of manipulations and lies: (A Must Read)

    "This Thanksgiving, I woke up early and did a volunteer stint peeling potatoes, doing prep work, washing pots and pans, and helping out however else I could to get Thanksgiving dinner ready for the homeless, the elderly, and vets at a center here in Chicago"

    Really? Would anyone care to clarify exactly what the name of this Shelter is called? and where it is located?

    "After my shift at the shelter, I accepted an invitation to go out to the suburbs to have dinner with radio host Megan Fox and her family, which was delightful.” “When I got there, I peeled more potatoes, did more prep work, washed more pots and pans, and helped out however else I could to get their family dinner ready"
    (continuing the fallacious script)
    ”The little kids there did arts and crafts and made all sorts of fun things for the table, including little place cards with all our names on them (turkeys with multi-colored feathers I helped put together on a little kid-run assembly line with Grandma and others helping). It was all so sweet and heart warming…and fun to play with construction paper. It’s been weeks since I did that.”
    (contrast with)
    "Just finished Thanksgiving dinner here at Buzzquarters. It’s been a very long day, including a round of arts & crafts making turkeys, pilgrims, Indians, and a mess.
    Someone surprised me with these Alaskan playing cards, which I love, you betcha."
    Really Kevin, which was it? Dinner at Buzzquarters, or Dinner with Megan Fox? and those place cards you describe at the Fox residence bear striking similarity to those you share from your Buzzquarters.

    Screen shot grabbing would be very useful in exposing this fraud as the liar he is:

    1. How did you find time to visit the homeless veterans shelter amid all the site postings that day.?
    2. Exactly where is this mysterious shelter that still peels potatoes for a major metropolitian dinner. As opposed to the real world food prep using dehydrated, and pre-processed starches which are the Standard/Norm of the 21st century in Metro-Chicago do-gooding food service.
    3. How did you eat dinner with Megan Fox, and Buzzquarters simultaneously? Or was the Fox household the temporary Buzz-HQ, albeit unknown to them.?

    Then again, 3 dimensional parabolic chess is indeed possible, however in order to play such a game you would actually need to physically be present in all but a cyber world of interloopers. Hmmmm..... curiousor and curiosor.

    Warmest regards.


  2. DeepThroat, Holy Cow. Thanks for wading through the muck over there to come up with this remarkable timeline. This pitiable jerk has cornered himself, and you've just pinned him to the wall!(Good point about the dehydrated starches, btw: "peeling potatoes" is a K.P. duty scene from a thirties movie.)

    He re-ups on poor M.M.'s full name and location, too, repeatedly, tauntingly. This is the behavior that causes me to stop feeling sorry for him. Thank goodness he's much more of a construction-paper tiger--or PUMA--than he was. Reading both Thanksgiving threads was educational and horrifying, for both the real and feigned pathos. Did you see where, on the "Speak English" thread, now anybody not speaking English in public is probably laughing at him? And while he can take photos of strangers and write unpleasant articles about them, he can't so much as take pictures of the hands of any of his imaginary friends, making paper Pilgrims or serving up stuffing at a shelter. It looks like an awful life from here.

    I am very glad to have hosted you guys. It definitely was both exciting and nervous-making trying to keep everybody's blood-pressure from spiking, including mine, and dealing with trust issues between ideologically opposed groups is always delicate. But it worked out pretty well, and your new site seems to be "humming" along quite nicely!

    As I said then, this is both the right thing to do, and the fun thing to do--weakening the influence of the man who attacked me, my friends, and assorted strangers by helping disenchanted Hillbuzzers benefits me too, as you no doubt are aware. I'm human enough to savor it a little.

    Snarkopolitan didn't start as an anti-anything site, and its evolution into a kind of Bilkwatch site is quite a surprise. Nobody can keep up with the feverish energy of Kevin Dujan, aka "Harvey Bilk," including me. So thank you again, "Deep Throat," for dropping by, and for the detective work. Much obliged!

  3. Deep Throat, Here's the Google cached page of "My Favorite Thanksgiving." For sheer cussedness, "I" "me" and "mine" are highlighted, though to be sure, a reminiscence post would likely have a large percentage of "I" in it. Nevertheless, an impressive showing.

  4. Thanks for the timeline. That must explain why he seems to be confusing one hate mailer, and their methods (which have been gone into ad nauseum on this and other sites) with another.
    Or, instead of just chalking it up to the busy, stressful holiday, could we assume that Kevin is losing his grip on reality? Just asking here.

  5., his ability to keep track of his lies is decreasing in direct proportion to the number of lies, proving the old adage right once again; to be a good liar, you need a good memory.

    Stanley found Livingston more easily than you could locate Harvey's grip on reality. The tale of being estranged from his family over his orientation wrings the heart, and many good people offered to have him over for Thanksgiving. I'd have him over myself, if it were not that he is incorrigibly deceitful, which may have more to do with any estrangement than his orientation.

    This would be a good time for my favorite quote from Emerson:

    "The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."

    I hope Megan Fox's silverware drawer is in order.

  6. Mrs. Polly, due to a set of rather consequential, yet disconnected, fortuitous ironies. I awake today surprised to find an e-mail request from the quizzical proprietor of the silverware of mention.

    An uncomfortable unease surrounds my consideration of reply. Having absolute zero historical, or geographical, reference to visitations of "Land O' the Fibbers" (meaning, I don't lie, nor do I cotton to those of particular defect) my reply is delayed by thoughtful consideration.

    However, a response is required, not to mention mannerly and entirely appropriate by request. As one who lives a life of comfortable invisibility, an expose' is not part of my genetics.

    My conundrum.


  7. DT, Yours and Mrs. Polly's posts are so eloquently written and when seen side by side they resemble a fine waltz with a little of tango thrown in for intensity. Jennifer and Derrick received accolades as number one prematurely, I would say.

    It appears you are adequately prepared to correspond with "the quizzical proprietor of the silverware of mention." Oh, what a delicious phrase and use of the English language. YOMO

  8. DT, Eeeesh. My sympathies. This whole business has been quite intense. If you wish to remain anonymous, I hope your interviewer will respect your wishes. After all, your timeline speaks for itself.

    BTW, anything you don't want to say in public, you can email me at the address posted above: Not that I'm looking to become the go-to Bring Down Dujan person, either! It was relaxing being a no-traffic blog where I could plug away in solitude.

    If you don't want to use your regular account, setting one up at gmail is pretty easy, by the way.

    Your timeline should be required reading for all Dujan loyalists, though. Anybody should see it who values either honor OR spoons. Perhaps you could just send it to the owner of the silverware.

    For people wondering how much I have it in for Dujan, you should know that while I enjoy the challenge of turning his various forms of mischief around on him, I think this is all very sad! He's tremendously (sometimes unfortunately) creative, and he's more and more isolated. I would settle for just being left alone, but he won't leave anybody alone. His energy for prosecuting resentments far exceeds most other people's, including mine.

    Good luck with your interview, and here is to wishing us all a peaceful, Dujan-free existence!

  9. Hi YOMO! I was out answering DT when you popped in. Thank you for the compliment, and congratulations on getting your Honeytrail blog up and running so quickly and so smoothly. That's quite a feat.

    Deep Throat's an excellent dance partner. If only Kevin knew how pleasant it is to let other people lead once in a while!

  10. Mrs. Polly, I am fraught with ownership of an uncomfortable tingly feeling. Similar to strolling up the hill toward Bletchley Park with the newest Enigma cipher codes tucked in my knapsack. There will be a distance at which a return option will not be afforded by the poorly disguised random dog walkers, postman, and milk trucks moving so slow their wares could only reasonably be selling cottage cheese by now.

    Knowing beyond the innocuously gated, but well groomed hedge-row, there are litterally hundreds of pocket protected actuarians toiling patrioticly over the riddled tumblers, and sequential logarithms, trying in earnest to garner a specific, and ellusive discovery. It is a rather peculiar unease that contemplates holding the large brass door knocker, and requesting the favour of such an audience.

    How does one afford diplomacy, yet maintain anonomity, in the introduction of a "Mitchell Page" to the not so honourable "Judge Michael F O'Brien"?


  11. Mrs. P., that "Speak English" post of his was just horrific, not least the photo of the young couple. He really seems to be losing it. I hope "Althea's kids" are as imaginary as I assume they are because it can't be healthy for children to see their Uncle Kev lose control in public like that.

    As for the young woman who refused to look at Kev, I have my own theories about that, involving a natural disinclination to catch the eye of a deranged person and/or an uncontrollable fit of the giggles.

  12. Mary, the name of the movie isn't even "Rapunzel." It's "Tangled," like any narrative put out by Mr. Twisty. It would certainly be a nightmare if he subjected actual kids to his xenophobic paranoiac wig-out, but I suspect "Niblet" is another "Panda"--named after a household item Kevin's eye fell upon in the throes of literary composition, in this case a can of creamed corn.

  13. Yes, I can buy a real young couple who may or may not have been snarking on Kev in a language that he doesn't understand but which they have a perfect right to speak wherever they want.

    And the couple being freaked out after Kevin went postal, I can see that happening.

    But a hip sassy black Oprah-hating woman friend with two streetwise kids? They don't seem as real somehow.

    I didn't catch the movie title mixup until you mentioned it. Like the two dinners, it's the little details that trip you up.

    I can just picture Kevin's little snit-fit. I imagine him looking and speaking just like Ed Grimley, Martin Short's character who was prone to hysteria at the drop of a hat. Except of course that Ed was funny and adorable.

  14. Hey I loved the book burning post. Megan Fox has been getting so excited by her promotion of (sorry campaign to ban) books associated with teens and pon.

    She is so concerned about them that she is going round libraries and liberating them. She actually admits that the copy of Rainbow Party she has liberated from the library is now rather worn.

    I guess she needed to check on more than one occasion that it was worth banning.

    Dujan, ever the source of accuracy, decides that well if Rainbow Party is being attacked, the very innocent anti bullying book the Rainbow Club should be the target of buzzard attention.

    A mistake or deliberate? It is hard to tell. Burn them all just in case.

  15. Party, Club--what's the diff? Next, expect to see attacks on the Rainbow Bridge, the Rainbow Connection, and and Rainbow Pops, not to mention Camp Rainbow, where I went as a Brownie Scout.

    Not to mention Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Troubles melting like lemon drops. Flying. Can you say "CODED?!!!"