Go ahead, Harvey--live your dream!
"The greatest regret in my life is that I couldn’t wear the uniform and serve this country as a Marine." --Kevin Dujan, .
Well now, that's a shame, but Kevin, you should take heart--and Snarkopolitan would be proud to assist you in a little bit of self-actualization. Reading your 1100-word lament was so heart-rending that we (that is, "I"--bad Polly! You know there's only one of you!) forgive you for targeting this then-defunct, now alive-and-kicking blog. Snarko is here due to you, Harvey Bilk! So let us help you walk tall.
Although, at 33 (Jesus' age!) you are now officially too old to enlist in the Marines proper, there are plenty of other branches of the service willing to take you, especially now that DADT is on its way out. Recruiters are now openly ignoring DADT. Of course, many other LGBTs didn't let DADT stop them and just lived with being closeted the best they could, the better to serve their country. Here is a link to OUTSERVE, an organization specifically for LGBT military. The culture is changing; my supervisor, who served four tours of duty in active combat in both Iraq wars, said, "Why should I care what the guy is holding the gun, long as he can cover me?"
Here are the maximum ages for enlistment in the service. You can see that you're well within range for a number of branches!
Army - 42 (must ship to basic training prior to 42nd birthday)
Air force - 27
Navy - 34
Marines - 28
Coast Guard - 27. Note: Up to age 32 for those selected to attend A-school directly up to enlistment (this is mostly for prior service).
Army Reserves - 42 (must ship to basic training prior to 42nd birthday)
Army National Guard - 35 (changed from 42 in 2009)
Air Force Reserve - 34
Air National Guard 40 (Change from 34 in Aug 2009)
Navaol Reserves - 39
Marine corps Reserve - 29
Coast Guard Reserves - Age 39
There you go. Even if you're a little out of shape, there's no better health club than the one they have at the local base--my friend's cousin Debbie was 48, overweight, and diabetic. She'd been in the Guard in the '80s, and was called back, whipped into shape at Fort Drum, and shipped out to drive trucks in Iraq. They obviously need people. One of those people could be you! It's terrible to see a young man pining for what he thinks is unattainable, when it's actually within his grasp. Go for it, Kevin!
Never Give Up!
Never Surrender! Fix Garden Implements! Do it for Cleveland!
*Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, thanks to the tender ministrations of Kevin Dujan. **Special Note to Kevin: the military stuff is good, but to really bring in the sawbucks, needs MOAR NUNS ; ^ }
*Snarkofriend and fellow prosecutee, Betty Cracker, has an uproarious "graphic novelini" devoted to the $hillbuzz Executive Decision-making Process. Go and laugh!