Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hillbuzz: Absolutely Fatuous

Absolutely Fatuous
Why are Pats and Palin depicted in front of the White House? Because they've an equal chance of getting into it, darling.

Pointlessly prolific Harvey Bilk of Shillbuzz loves reruns, and "Class V Crass" is a perennial fave at Harvey's Emporium of Warmed-Over Wingnuttery. It's unsurprising, since his audience demands quantity, not quality, that he should turn to some well-worn classics again and again.

The Lord of the Flies at Shillbuzz uses the series to contrast First Spouse Michelle Obama (no "Lady" for Michelle; rather than call her that, he'll just eschew the term completely!) with First Spouses he prefers, including poor First Drinker Mamie Eisenhower, and, hilariously, LOU HOOVER, much admired for her patience in having to live with the clueless Herbert, who lent his name to so many small cardboard towns during the Great Depression.

Now Shillbuzz has a poll on which First Spouse to slam Michelle with next, as well as the newest installment, which depicts Alaska's Half-First Dude (or is it First Half-Dude? One never is sure about courtesy titles for quitters' spouses) with, of course, Baby Trig, whom he is carefully trying to keep out of the media spotlight, as a caring parent would, you know.

Todd, incidentally, may also bear the honor of being America's first Ominous Shadow Half-Governor, in which case Sarah might just be her own Half First Spouse, or First Half---oh hell, you get the picture. Now that's Mavericky. Anyway, wouldn't having a First Spouse under investigation be exciting! And it doesn't matter which Palin, because both of them have been investigated and found guilty!

While lacking the resources of Shillbuzz's Mystery Photoshopper--and in particular the Photoshop, we* have endeavored to provide just a little of that sort of edgy fun for Snarkopolitan's fives of readers. And doesn't Harvey's beloved Sarah deserve to be compared with the best? So here she is, rocking the same 'do in her retro-ironic way years before Sarah ever picked up the Aqua-Net. Both gals are utilizing their second-favorite props, sporting designer apparel of dubious provenance, and blowing smoke. The difference is that in Pats' case, you know the worst it could be is weed.

Sure, the Class V Crass series seems shallow, pissy, the sort of thing someone does who is seriously underemployed and possessing of a damaged psyche which can only feel good by projecting its self-hatred outward onto an undeserving hate-object. But how can we understand the worldview of one of the globe's formost purveyors of curdled inanity without venturing into his world and trying to see it as he sees it, through his shining little beady rodent eyes?

*brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, and written in the baffling third person à la Shillbuzz, even though we are in fact only one person and only able to bring you intermittent installments on Shillbuzz's exhaustive supply of foolishness, since, unlike a certain "special events planner," we have a job!


  1. I can't even bring myself to go there today but yesterday he had his crew of dingbats collecting pictures of the First Dude, no lie. I hope he made them use the blunt scissors. They're like 5-year-olds over there. "Miss Hillbuzz? Miss Hillbuzz? Britney's cutting her pictures out of the National Enquirer! That's wrong, isn't it, Miss Hillbuzz?"

  2. Britney's cutting her pictures out of the National Enquirer! That's wrong, isn't it, Miss Hillbuzz?"


    Today he's directing the pack to stalk Joe McGinnis. He actually states that Mr. McGinnis has been seen with binoculars trying to "peep into Piper's window". Harvey is a disgusting individual.

  3. I hope Joe McGinnis has some bodyguards or some kind of security. I think he's going to need it.

  4. And for his next act, he wants the pack to stalk the neighbor who rented the house to McGinniss. As if any of these ditzes would actually get off their couches and head north.

    And speaking of Class vs Crass, he wants to use Mary Todd Lincoln as the next First Spouse with whom to contrast Michelle Obama.

    Mary Todd Lincoln!!!

    "What lessons", Harvey inquires, "could she teach our current First Spouse, in terms of behavior, patriotism, fashion, and generally being a good and decent person?"

    For a change, the pack are actually well-informed today and hasten to explain to him that poor Mrs. Lincoln was erratic, vindictive, jealous, a spendthrift who spent lavishly on White House decoration and her own clothes while Union soldiers went without, a horrific embarrassment politically to her husband and mentally disturbed enough to have been institutionalized at the end of her life. Oh, and rumored to be a supporter of the Confederacy (her stepbrothers fought on the Confederate side). I think that covers everything but fashion, don't you agree? And the photo he posts of her takes care of that.

    Poor Harvey. Which First Spouse will he exhume next as an example of "class"?

    Hey, Harv, try Edith Wilson (who lied about the seriousness of her husband's stroke and acted as de facto president). Jane Pierce. Florence Harding. Poor Pat Nixon. Ada McKinley (another sad story). Emily Donelson, not a president's wife but First Lady as the official hostess of her uncle Andrew Jackson and apparently a bitchy little Heather. Barbara Bush, if you have the gall.

    Just do a little research first so you don't embarrass yourself too much.

  5. I think the similarity Harv wants between Michelle Obama and Mary Todd Lincoln is "widowed", but he's afraid to say so.

  6. My, my ... it's been 3 days since ex-Gov. Palin appeared at the Belmont Stakes wearing a trucker cap, cargo capris and a clingy T.

    And no Class V. Crass? (Class of course being all the women at Belmont Park who were dressed up for the occasion).

    No Who Looks Better -- Sarah Palin or Ashton Kutchner?

    Is Harvey afraid of the boobage? Or can he just not bring himself to post an image of his idol wearing manpris?

  7. it looked to me like she'd had a little work done on her boobs.