Friday, March 25, 2011

Hillbuzz Rotating Begathon Collected!

From the $hillbuzz Dept of We've Seen This Before:
"Help support our move to the new site! This graphic does not display real-time statistics, (it sure doesn't, and how! - ed.) so check back often for updates."
~~Kevin Dujan, Propietor of Hillbuzz.org.
Hillbuzz~ Condemned to Eternal Donation
(Shillbuzz graphic courtesy Fundraising Ideas Center, with Blinged-out alterations by Mrs. Polly)

Due to some now-resolved health problems, I have been on Blogging Sabbatical for a few months. In these dark, crazy times, it's nice to find that a few eternal verities apply, and nothing could be more eternal or stable than Kevin Dujan's need for YOU poor Shillbuzzers to send HIM money, so he can open his new revenue-producing website for YOU. Look, the new, de-Hillarified (Madame Secretary must be grateful that her nasty buzzing tinnitus is cured--it's a miracle!) site is just about ready. And what a graphic! The fly-headed, testes-winged, drip-bodied insects who don't know up from down have a flight path weirder than Woodstock's--it's perfect.

So what's the hold-up? You should pardon the expression. It must be that YOU have not yet sent Kevin Dujan enough money for this new ad-supported site.

Now Dujan has a swell United Way-style thermometer to show you how YOU have failed him. He tells you to check back for frequent updates, but there are no frequent updates. That thermometer is just plain stuck at 1,000 $Hillbucks. Here he promised the new site in February, and gosh, it's almost the end of March.What's wrong with you people, not sending him enough money for the massive servers needed to handle all the massive traffic needed by a growing site like Shillbuzz!
Don't you want him to fight the battles he keeps promising to fight from a powerful platform capable of storing OVER 100 MEGABYTES OF ARCHIVES??? Other than a ten-dollar thumbdrive, or my 4 gigabyte Mp3 player, how can such a vast record of $Hillwitt be preserved?

Of course, waves of now-disgusted-and-departed Hillbuzzers (you can find a whole bunch of them here) will recognize the tin cup marked "NEW WEBSITE" he's shaking. They've seen it before. It's only one of many begs in a regular kaleidoscope of begging, all the elements tumbling together in endless variation, producing endlessly dazzling patterns of guilt-tripping, passive-aggressive demands, mixed with sugar crystals and tiny American flags.

Poor old neglected Snarkopolitan has somehow managed to get Google Ads without shaking down our 4.5 devoted readers, plus YouTubes and, if we (that is, Mrs. Polly) were really vindictive, BlogTalk Radio too, all for free. But the creativity Kevin Dujan, or Harvey Bilk to his former friends, displays in all his varied and constant begs, is astonishing, and so without further ado, Snarkopolitan presents:

~~The Begs of Kevin Dujan~~

(note: Dujan keeps his begging posts up for weeks or months, so the date collected doesn't reflect when each beg first appears)


Posted by hillbuzz under Uncategorized
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Donate

Moving over to the new site, on our own dedicated servers, is the biggest and most expensive project we have ever tackled. There’s nearly 100MB of data archived
in the three years since HB began. If you have been a fan of what we do in the past and look forward to what the new site can accomplish, anything you could chip in towards defraying the costs of the move is appreciated. If reading our content has been worth $5 or $10 to you, now is the time when your help make us better than we ever could have been stuck here on WordPress.

(collected March 17th, 2011)

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We’re in the process of moving to a new site on a secure, dedicated server. Backing up our 2+ years of archives is expensive, and the new server means monthly fees we’ll have to pay going forward. If you enjoy the political and humorous content you get here, consider chipping in to help defray these costs. Help us get to where we are ad-supported on the new site and HB can pay for itself in 2011 and beyond. It’s a lot of hard work, and it’s expensive, so your help is appreciated. (Collected 12/29/10)

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Donate

If you like what we do here on WordPress, and you read us every day, please consider chipping in to help us save towards getting a new site on a dedicated server where we can then be ad-supported in the future and wouldn’t have to ask for help to fund our political activities. Right now, this is all coming out of pocket for us, and we just never can save up enough to get a new site off the ground. (Collected 11/17/10)



3rd Degree Shillburn
DonateDonateDonate--we sank our LITERALLY last penny into political pyromania!

Donate

We literally put every cent we had into the ground game for this midterm election. Additionally, we gave up much-needed freelance gigs so we could be out canvassing, writing articles for this site, and giving free strategic advice to conservatives coast to coast on how to stop the Left and start burning the Democrat Party to the ground.

Consider us the match (collected Nov. 2, 2010)

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This is the homestretch of the 2010 election. We’re putting everything we’ve got into a nonstop, on-the-ground push here in Chicago…against stalwart Obama allies who are vulnerable for the first time in their careers. We’re also ginning up ground opposition to Rahm Emanuel’s Mayoral bid, and will start that effort in earnest November 3rd.

If you like what we do, chip in for the resources we need to creatively take those punches at Democrats that Republicans, for whatever reason, just won’t take on their own. (collected 10/29/10)

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From now until Election Day, we are pooling everything we have for an all-out effort to take down Jan Schakowsky here in Chicago. She is currently only leading her opponent Joel Pollak by 18 points, instead of the 40-something she normally leads in re-election bids. Schakowsky is a terrible Congress critter, and is married to convicted felon Robert Creamer, who wrote Obamacare in prison. She is vulnerable, and scare, and we’re committed to spending 6 hours a day, every day, from now until November 2nd to do all we can to take her down. Whatever you can throw our way will be added to what we’ve collected amongst ourselves to cover the printing of palm cards, gas and Zip cars to hit Schakowsky’s whole district, and everything else we need to make sure an independent effort is made to ask enough Schakowsky muscle-memory voters why they remain loyal to her so that they just sit home on Election Day and this awful person is booted from Congress.

With your help, we could conceivably double or even triple what we would be able to do without you… so $5 or $10 will help A LOT to make sure, together, we get to every house, every business, every store, and every street in Schakowsky’s district.

This is the best chance EVER to defeat her…and if she goes down, a stauch Obama accomplice, it will reverberate through the halls of the DNC like nothing else. (Collected October 22, 2010)

Harvey Bilk Scalps Shillbuzzers
Dujan was just exhausted from canvassing by Election Day, but not too exhausted to post the usual quarter mile of verbiage, none of it describing any experiences (unlike his Halloween posts) he had, or whom he met, or how many palm cards he printed up with the money he begged for! Nor did he include any images of palm cards, or indicate any content, etc. Why, it's almost as if none of it ever......

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We’re saving up to build a new site that will be ad-supported in the future (which we can’t do here on WordPress) and to archive everything that’s been created for the last two years here on HillBuzz, as well as investing in some marketing initiatives that will grow our readership and make the new site self-supporting in the months ahead. If you like what you read here every day, and get enjoyment from it, we appreciate any help you can give as we make this push to grow and become a bigger presence in the political and satire worlds. (collected October 7, 2010)

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September 17, 2010
Help us cover what the JournoLists won’t
Posted by hillbuzz under Uncategorized
Comments Off


Donate

If you like what you read here, we’d appreciate any support you can give…it helps us get to political events and do the things that keep the stories flowing
. It also helps us continue towards the day when we can have a new ad-supported site that willtake a massive burden off us and fund many HillBuzz adventures in the future. (Collected Sept 17th, 2010, a day where Hillbuzz curiously did not mention Des Moines, or the Reagan Dinner (see below). Hope the Hillbuzzers didn't fall for that one!)

Melvin Dudgeon Soaking Shillbuzzers
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We don’t have a lot of time to pull this together, but we’re going to try to head over to Des Moines, Iowa on September 17th to cover Governor Sarah Palin’s appearances there…culminating in the Reagan Dinner that night. Apparently, the Governor will be doing several events in Iowa on the 17th, and we’d like to be on the ground to take it all in…and report back here to you on it. (collected Sept 7, 2010)

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We’ve actually been through a few rounds of this already, where we’ve worked with people who said they were going to help us get off WordPress and onto a new site of our own, with better ability to do what we want to do, but then for whatever reason things fall apart. ("whatever" is working harder here than an Alabama chain-gang in August-ed.)

It’s almost always been a funding issue, with the expense of doing the things we need to have done in terms of backup protection and server space and bandwidth usage being prohibitively high — especially when we weigh those costs against doing things we think are more important, like going to various political events and getting more items to write about. (sadly, Mr. Dujan seems not to have shown up at any of the events for which he begged traveling funds, except the Glenn Beck rally, where he alone showed up despite begging money for his imaginary friends to come along, and about which none of "them" posted any recaps, despite promising to. In fact, he didn't even show at the Chicago Conservatives 4 Palin meet-up, which would have cost him nothing but a little time.)
(collected aug 14, 2010)

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This is just a partial collection. Feel free to add your own favorite examples of $HillBegging, if you wish; I hate leaving out some of the classics, but I am, unlike Kevin Dujan, only one person, and do not have the Energy of the Mad to help me!

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, resuscitated by none other than Kevin Dujan himself.

8 comments:

  1. Where has Kevin been? Most of the posts over there these days are by "Bridget". Methinks maybe he's given up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And Bridget doesn't seem to have what it takes to pick up the slack. Why, Kevin could have turned out 3,000 words on how the Obamas dress their children funny and given Sarah Palin a tongue bath in the time it takes Bridget to call a Wisconsin teacher a union thug.

    Didn't Jan Schakowsky wipe the floor with Joel Pollak? Maybe Kevin should give out refunds.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As far as examples of Hill-begging are concerned, asking for bucks to take Panda, Joaquin and the rest of his imaginary friends to the Glenn Beck rally was a classic, true.

    My favorite, though, is still the time he wanted help to travel from Chicago to Wilmington, IL to meet Sarah Palin -- a grand distance of 58 miles.

    But what has struck me is how many times the suggestion of a donation used to come from a Hillbuzz commenter. In the halcyon days of Hillbuzz, Kevin often didn't have to ask -- just drop a few piteous complaints about how his conscience and/or mean lefty bloggers were driving his clients away, and the comments would be awash with cries of "You boyz are so noble! I'm donating to you now!" And they didn't all seem to come from I.M.A. Sockpuppet either. People really seemed to fall over themselves to help him out with a few bucks.

    Not so much now, I don't suppose. You can only go to the well so often before it runs dry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good lord, Mary, fifty-eight miles? That would be enormously funny if I didn't know that some of the now-fled Hillbuzzers donated hundreds of dollars to him at a time--ouch!

    On one of the escapee blogs, a commenter said that she'd hidden from her husband how much money she'd given Kevin.

    We can't know how much success the Duj is having squeezing his followers; the cartoon thermometer is no indicator. Times are hard, and all the begging has been done to death, but every time his well has run dry, he's just found another well.

    I hope nobody else is putting the family reserves into his moist little open palm.

    @anonymous: Bridget is now getting the scutwork that used to fall to Chrissy. Amazing how fast the transition is from new co-blogger to carrying the blog almost single-handedly!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The funniest thing about the bleg for the Wilmington trip is that apparently someone did fund it -- according to Kevin anyway. I find I automatically distrust anything he says, maybe it's just me.

    So that's the new site, huh? I notice that despite Kevin's claim that it will be self-supported by ads, there's a Donate to Hillbuzz button prominently displayed.

    And that "100 megabytes" reminded me of Dr. Evil portentously announcing that he will hold the world hostage for One. Million. Dollars. Honestly, Kev -- why not pump it up to something more impressive? It's not like Panda is going to tell on you.

    By the way, Mrs. Polly -- I'm sorry to hear that you've had problems with your health and I'm glad that they're resolved.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Welcome back, Mrs P! Missed your luscious levity, glad your health issues
    are resolved. Re the Dudge's wrecked-all thermometer: for someone who boasts so boldly about being a conservative, he sure misses one of its core tenets, that one should be "self-supporting & not expect to survive on handouts." I think we may have here a cracked core situation here about to go into full meltdown!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, a brilliant list of the begathons. Great find of the test site that Dujan is working so so hard on, it must have cost all of $50.

    Hope you are better.

    PS The delightful Siskind has managed to sucker in Senator Gillibrand to a $250 per plate PUMAthon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bluehost is definitely the best hosting provider with plans for any hosting needs.

    ReplyDelete