Sunday, March 8, 2009

Fainting Goats for Freedom

Supporting Dr. Orly, One Camelid At A Time

In these tough times, it's difficult scraping up the funds to support Dentist/Lawyer Dr. Orly Taitz's heroic struggle to bring down the nauseatingly popular usurper, British-Indokenyan Muslibertheosocialazi Barry Dunsoeterror. Dr. Orly understands. But having no money shouldn't stop you from making sure her coffers are filled:

Defend Our Freedoms Foundation

Want to help out but don't have money to donate? Defend Our Freedoms has partnered with By registering at "this link", you can set up a business store, hold an auction, sell your products and sell livestock while supporting Defend Our Freedoms.

No Ebay cookie jars here. These auctions are for a Redder State crowd. Breederville's categories run more to Ratites (Emu, Ostrich, Rhea), Camelids, Waterfowl, and all the more usual animals and farm implements. Other than exotic fish, urbanites would have trouble participating in Orly's auctions.

There is a Studding, Semen, or Embryo category. A vial of Semen is small enough to go right in even a dorm-size refrigerator, but sadly, nobody is auctioning off any Freedom sperm. Nor are most of the really enticing sections of the livestock universe represented: no Fallow Deer, no Alligators, no Byelorussian Harness Horses, and, especially disappointing, no Tennessee Fainting Goats. I happen to know of at least one sure customer for a Tennessee Fainting Goat.

But you can bid for rabbit meat. ""High Quality Rabbit Meat"" at that. You can also bid for three different kinds of worms, including live colored wax worms. They come in seven frighteningly neon shades, and they are live, not wax. You can also get a compartmented plastic WaxiTaxi, so you can take them wherever you go, segregated.

I looked into the waxworm world, and I learned how to raise them, how to color them, how they differ from mealworms, how long they will keep their color underwater (up to one hour, but if your worm is still there after an hour, you have more problems than impermanent worm dye). What I didn't learn is why. Why dye them seven colors in the first place? But this might be one of those instances of ""If you have to ask why, you'll never understand.""

Dr. Orly's followers are also raising crickets and crayfish for her, and you can bid on bison bratwurst for the cause. So if you can't find a place in your life for a pound of neon wax worms, there's no reason to despair. You can still participate in Dr. Orly's Auctions. They're the only satisfaction she's ever likely to find from a gavel.
Update: Yes To Democracy is a site that has followed every twist of the many Obama birth certificate lawsuits and moronic fantasies to issue from the tangled brains of legal lights such as Orly, Phil Berg, et. al. Strange Appar8us, a regular commenter there and at Rumproast, has written the ultimate tag-team steel-cage scenario involving the lot of them. Not to read it is to lead a life ultimately unfulfilled.

(Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog)