Friday, May 2, 2008

Pulp Non-Fiction 2: Did Somebody say Death Threat?

Our apartment complex, *Muttonchop City, is in the throes of *Priv---oops, can't say it, but it ends in "atization." Thanks to a legal loophole,we're voting on whether we can sell our YOU THE TAXPAYER subsidized apartments for twenty times what we paid. One little group is trying to oppose this legalized theft, not very successfully so far.

Mr. and Mrs. Polly belong to this group, along with a lot of little old ladies who were brought up with loftier ideals than those of Baby Boomers like Toby Mugg, Esq., Titular Head of MuttonChop Rights, the pro-Priv----- well, you know. Ends in "atization"---group. Some of the pro-- people aren't shy about making their feelings known:

Yes, this is true. Yes, this is happening here. 95-year-old Clara writes spirited anti-Priv. letters to the local paper, so she's hated. When she was 92, she was sued for slander by the Titular Head of *Muttonchop Rights, acting as counsel for the even nastier Jerry Lewis sound-a-like lawyer, *Lonnie Angler.

We've a good idea who's the culprit:

Mr. Blatz has threatened my own Mr.Polly: "After we priv***ze, I'm gonna get you." Mr. Blatz has threatened so many old ladies he'll have to work a 40 hour week butchering them.

Mr. Blatz doesn't seem to realize that every time he rings Esther's doorbell, he's recorded by security cameras.

We're working on a surprise for Mr. Blatz.

all names, appearances and search terms have been altered to protect the Pollys from the wrath of their lovely neighbors.

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