Has Kevin Dujan Finally Been Called On The Carpet?

Poor old neglected Snarkopolitan has not entirely gone silent; real life has outstripped any  manufactured Internet drama, much less the sporadically continuing Send-Your-Pennies Dreadful over at Harvey Bilk's  (aka Kevin Dujan's) Rushbo-approved Hyperverbal Hate Shack and Verbal Vomitorium.

But, after attending to genuine life-or-death issues for a year or so (and thank you well-wishers on behalf of our wonderful Strange, who's doing miraculously well), I decided to check in on The World's Crappiest Would-Be Cult Leader, and was delighted to find him healthy enough to churn out a seven-part series, in exhaustive detail, on dirty carpeting. 

Yes.

 In a law office lobby. Where he was evidently to be deposed in a "federal civil rights case" involving the gay bar that has played a central role in many an adventure at Hillbuzz, the proudest of which may have been the Hillbuzzers' attempts to shut down an anti-bullying event to be held there a couple weeks after the bar showed a video in which one man made a mildly unkind remark about Trig Palin. 

 Yr. editrix hasn't the strength or inclination to don her hip waders and plunge into the vat of verbiage at Harvey Bilk's Bulk BS Warehouse, but we can surmise that whatever the reason for his presence on the grubby wall-to-wall, it was not a pleasure visit.

Harvey's excuse for sullying the reputation of Hinshaw and Culbertson's downbeaten broadloom is that it signifies "canaries in the goldmine" of the Obamaconomy, though antagonizing a firm of corporate lawyers speaks more to me of toys in the attic.

In any case, there's a simple explanation for why a white-glove law firm would have a sadly stained lobby rug: unlike Hillbuzz, it gets traffic.

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the still not dead blog, because the problems of little nutjobs on the Internet really don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world!.

RW Pearlclutching Claptrap Of The Day: ZOMG, BLINGATE!!1!!

Dancing while the 10% unemployed burn!!!!1!!!

Oh relax, Populist Sarah Palin. Michelle's diamond cuffs were borrowed, and giving a boost to the billion-dollar American fashion industry is one of the First Lady's functions. Just ask Nancy Reagan!  For that matter, does "belly of the plane" ring a bell?

I'm sorry Hillbuzz has decided to pick on Nancy~~again!~~for her desire to kick up her borrowed heels during a time of high unemployment such as the 10% plus of the Reagan years. I thought they liked her. It seems rather mean to do that to an old lady. But Kathleen has to do something to fling up a post while Kevin's on yet another walkabout, and reheated Weasels is better than nothing at all! Well, nearly better.

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, noting that the devoted Kathleen's attempt to fill in for Kevin and liveblog the ninnies' debate was breathtaking in its detail except she didn't seem to hear them boo the gay soldier! She should call a television repairman about that!

RW Pearlclutching Claptrap Of The Day: ZOMG, UMBRELLAGATE!

YooHoo, Megan "Only Douchebags do it"  Fox!

You should watch your filthy mouth, young lady. Or perhaps wash it; putting your foot that far in is bad enough, without stepping in a load of something first.

Megan Fox loathes people like this!

Took me 30 seconds of teh Google to find this image. If this is a sample of your researching skillz, what a wonderful fit you are for Hillbuzz! Add in your tasteful race-baiting invocation of "slaves," plus P. Diddy and Michael Jackson, and Neville Chamberlain for variety, and you've got quite the virulent hatefest.

Ironic that the President created a sensation on his first state visit to China for carrying his own umbrella, isn't it?

Is there a problem, Mr. Premier?

Megan Fox is not entirely to blame for her own silliness; she just obediently picked up the story from some RW propaganda factory like Weasel Zippers and added just enough hysteria to attract other people disposed to fume over a non-story involving their favorite hate-object.

"Douchebags," photo according to Pottymouth Megan Fox

At least Kevin would be creative. Where has he got to, anyway?

Brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, where we fondly remember the ineluctable stupidity of the RW flip-out over Jacketgate, too.

A Visit To The Hillbuzz Sock Drawer

Whatever happened to dear Sebastian Gray, who wrote "Gray Matters" for Hillbuzz? Good old "Bast" had his own snappy graphic and everything.  Here he is, as designed by "our good friend Theresa" and modeled by Kevin, his biggest booster:

"Theresa" is good at capturing a likeness!

"Bast's" good friend Kevin liked his writing so much, he gave him his own twice-weekly column, although he wrote about "Bast" (and all the crew at Buzzquarters) as if he thought "Bast" would never read it.

Here's Kevin writing with, shall we say, notable vehemence about "Bast's" ex-boyfriend's battleaxe of a mother:

So Kevin, how do you really feel about Sebastian's boyfriend David's Mother?

Sebastian had worse traumas, though, than losing his Smurf Clock to the thrice-married harridan (who even merits her own tag: "Louella the twice-divorced publicly shamed adulteress"): he was mugged. In New York City. By Blacks. 

Hillbuzz Suffering Halfsphynxiation

American Artemis In CleoPalin Finery, With Sacred Dujbeetle

Harvey Bilk is prognosticating again: SHE'S RUNNING!  How does he know, when the American Artemis, or as I like to think of her, the Wassilla Sphynx, won't even tell her lamestream buddy Greta?

Because she's looking Presidential in Pink! Fashion maven Kevin doesn't remember seeing her in pink before!

Because she didn't mention the actual candidates' names! She just ran them down pointedly enough to make clear whom she was talking about. Clever!

Except for Newt! She gaves props to the man who's just running to pay some bills, as we all know, wink wink! No harm fluffing him. So presidential!

Because she praised the Tea Party and "We the People" and the Pioneering Spirit! Nobody does that who isn't running for president!

And she slammed President Obama! That settles it!

TA-DAH!

Brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, who is ready to send a postcard to Sarah herself: RUN SARAH RUN!!!! Make this snark blog the happiest blog in the world. ;o}

Kevin Dujan, Political Analyst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in 2008, I actually came up with a slogan for the Republican Party that I’ve tried giving them for two years now, and nobody ever wanted to do anything with it.

I think it’s something we could have a lot of fun with, so I’ve decided just to run with it here on HillBuzz.org to see what our more creative readers can come up with to fit the theme.

The slogan is:

Republicans: Not as evil as you think.

~~~~****~~~~

~~~*~~~

*

TA-DAH!


Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, who cannot possibly imagine why the Repubs didn't bite, can you?

Hey Hillbuzz, Is It Too Late To Enter This In The Photoshop Sarah Palin In The Oval Office Contest?

Conservative trigger warning: this post is rated four out of a possible six conservative 'splodey heads.

~~~~

Oh Harvey Bilk, do you have to hang em' right over the plate like this?

 You might as well be a pitcher for the Cubs:

What Would Hillbuzz Do Without Suckers?

Awful Merman

So since Kevin Dujan has managed to whip up a good profitable head of fury over a thoughtless aside about the youngest Palin, whose name Kevin constantly uses as a kind of all-purpose spray-on outrage freshener, you'd think somebody might question front-pager (and major contributor) Newt Love's thoughtless use of the pejorative suffix "tard." Wouldn't you?

Not feeling the Newt

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, jolted to life by the tender ministrations of one Kevin Dujan. Something of a mistake on his part, it would seem! 

Hillbuzz Makes Mountain Out Of BuzzHill, Using Youngest Palin

When Dujans Attack, Even Deleting Won't Help You!

                                 
Kevin Dujan complaining about deleted comments is like Casey Anthony complaining about bad parenting. But even after the makers of "only@brunch", a video apparently meant to be shown at his local gay bar, apologized and edited out an offensive remark he complained to them about, they are still the latest targets of his undying wrath, which has stretched now to five  six posts and well over 8,000 10,000 words. **UPDATE** And now includes harassing an anti-bullying charity started by famously pro-LGBT straight footballer, Ben Cohen, for the crime of having an upcoming fundraiser at the bar which showed this video two weeks ago.

Let's cut to the chase immediately: one of the participants in this video made an ill-advised comment about Trig Palin. To be specific, while discussing Michele Bachmann, one man giggled, "She looks like Trig!"  The other men around the table may or may not have heard the comment, which was neither responded to or elaborated on. They continued to talk about Bachmann before moving on to other subjects, and Trig was never brought up again.


That was the whole "attack" in its entirety. It was a mean thing to say, certainly, and stupid.

Ouch, Kevin Dujan, You've Snapped My Credulity!

Oh sweet heaven.

Do you know of an accurate list of cities and venues where “The Undefeated” is playing?

Posted on July 26, 2011 by Kevin DuJan // 2012 Presidential Campaign, Action Items, Blue Team - Research, Sarah Palin

I am very eager to see the Sarah Palin documentary “The Undefeated” but it’s not playing here in Chicago.

There was, apparently, a one-time, unpublicized showing of the movie — for one screening only — that I didn’t hear about.  With no press or advertisement, hundreds of people still turned out for it.

Evidently, the film is packed wherever it is being shown…but it’s only a handful of theaters.

Does anyone know of an accurate list of where it is playing?

Here, Harvey Bilk, let me help you find a clue.

Hillbuzz Dujan Vue Part Deux: Where Is Kevin Dujan AGAIN?

                             Kevin Dujan, no longer Sub-Rosa


Helloooo Hillbuzzers again! This is your unreasonably friendly hostess Mrs. Polly, (just ask some conservative friends, in, um, high places ;^}) telling you to try looking up the Hillbuzz July '09 archives. Yes, try all you want, but you won't find them, because that was the last time Kevin and his many personalities went seriously, mysteriously, AWOL.

 Now I go AWOL from poor old neglected Snarkopolitan all the time, but then I am not trying to build a major online presence, don't hit people up for money, or inveigle them into doing pro-bono work for the Cause while keeping them entirely in the dark. (Yoo-hoo Admin~ ever wonder who "Chrissy" was? She was the one who did all that work before you, was mistreated, and left.)

Hillbuzz Rotating Begathon Collected!

From the $hillbuzz Dept of We've Seen This Before:

"Help support our move to the new site! This graphic does not display real-time statistics, (it sure doesn't, and how! - ed.) so check back often for updates."

~~Kevin Dujan, Propietor of Hillbuzz.org.

(Shillbuzz graphic courtesy Fundraising Ideas Center, with Blinged-out alterations by Mrs. Polly)

Due to some now-resolved health problems, I have been on Blogging Sabbatical for a few months. In these dark, crazy times, it's nice to find that a few eternal verities apply, and nothing could be more eternal or stable than Kevin Dujan's need for YOU poor Shillbuzzers to send HIM money, so he can open his new revenue-producing website for YOU. Look, the new, de-Hillarified (Madame Secretary must be grateful that her nasty buzzing tinnitus is cured--it's a miracle!) site is just about ready. And what a graphic! The fly-headed, testes-winged, drip-bodied insects who don't know up from down have a flight path weirder than Woodstock's--it's perfect.

So what's the hold-up? You should pardon the expression. It must be that YOU have not yet sent Kevin Dujan enough money for this new ad-supported site.

Now Dujan has a swell United Way-style thermometer to show you how YOU have failed him. He tells you to check back for frequent updates, but there are no frequent updates. That thermometer is just plain stuck at 1,000 $Hillbucks. Here he promised the new site in February, and gosh, it's almost the end of March.What's wrong with you people, not sending him enough money for the massive servers needed to handle all the massive traffic needed by a growing site like Shillbuzz!

Don't you want him to fight the battles he keeps promising to fight from a powerful platform capable of storing OVER 100 MEGABYTES OF ARCHIVES??? Other than a ten-dollar thumbdrive, or my 4 gigabyte Mp3 player, how can such a vast record of $Hillwitt be preserved?

Of course, waves of now-disgusted-and-departed Hillbuzzers (you can find a whole bunch of them here) will recognize the tin cup marked "NEW WEBSITE" he's shaking. They've seen it before. It's only one of many begs in a regular kaleidoscope of begging, all the elements tumbling together in endless variation, producing endlessly dazzling patterns of guilt-tripping, passive-aggressive demands, mixed with sugar crystals and tiny American flags.

Poor old neglected Snarkopolitan has somehow managed to get Google Ads without shaking down our 4.5 devoted readers, plus YouTubes and, if we (that is, Mrs. Polly) were really vindictive, BlogTalk Radio too, all for free. But the creativity Kevin Dujan, or Harvey Bilk to his former friends, displays in all his varied and constant begs, is astonishing, and so without further ado, Snarkopolitan presents:

~~The Begs of Kevin Dujan~~

(note: Dujan keeps his begging posts up for weeks or months, so the date collected doesn't reflect when each beg first appears)

HELP US LAUNCH OUR NEW SITE IN FEBRUARY

Posted by hillbuzz under Uncategorized
Comments Off

Donate

Moving over to the new site, on our own dedicated servers, is the biggest and most expensive project we have ever tackled. There’s nearly 100MB of data archived in the three years since HB began. If you have been a fan of what we do in the past and look forward to what the new site can accomplish, anything you could chip in towards defraying the costs of the move is appreciated. If reading our content has been worth $5 or $10 to you, now is the time when your help make us better than we ever could have been stuck here on WordPress.

(collected March 17th, 2011)

** **** ** **** ** ****

We’re in the process of moving to a new site on a secure, dedicated server. Backing up our 2+ years of archives is expensive, and the new server means monthly fees we’ll have to pay going forward. If you enjoy the political and humorous content you get here, consider chipping in to help defray these costs. Help us get to where we are ad-supported on the new site and HB can pay for itself in 2011 and beyond. It’s a lot of hard work, and it’s expensive, so your help is appreciated. (Collected 12/29/10)

** **** ** **** ** **** **

Donate

If you like what we do here on WordPress, and you read us every day, please consider chipping in to help us save towards getting a new site on a dedicated server where we can then be ad-supported in the future and wouldn’t have to ask for help to fund our political activities. Right now, this is all coming out of pocket for us, and we just never can save up enough to get a new site off the ground. (Collected 11/17/10)

DonateDonateDonate--we sank our LITERALLY last penny into political pyromania!

Donate

We literally put every cent we had into the ground game for this midterm election. Additionally, we gave up much-needed freelance gigs so we could be out canvassing, writing articles for this site, and giving free strategic advice to conservatives coast to coast on how to stop the Left and start burning the Democrat Party to the ground.

Consider us the match (collected Nov. 2, 2010)

** **** ** **** ** **** **

This is the homestretch of the 2010 election. We’re putting everything we’ve got into a nonstop, on-the-ground push here in Chicago…against stalwart Obama allies who are vulnerable for the first time in their careers. We’re also ginning up ground opposition to Rahm Emanuel’s Mayoral bid, and will start that effort in earnest November 3rd.

If you like what we do, chip in for the resources we need to creatively take those punches at Democrats that Republicans, for whatever reason, just won’t take on their own. (collected 10/29/10)

** **** ** **** ** **** **

From now until Election Day, we are pooling everything we have for an all-out effort to take down Jan Schakowsky here in Chicago. She is currently only leading her opponent Joel Pollak by 18 points, instead of the 40-something she normally leads in re-election bids. Schakowsky is a terrible Congress critter, and is married to convicted felon Robert Creamer, who wrote Obamacare in prison. She is vulnerable, and scare, and we’re committed to spending 6 hours a day, every day, from now until November 2nd to do all we can to take her down. Whatever you can throw our way will be added to what we’ve collected amongst ourselves to cover the printing of palm cards, gas and Zip cars to hit Schakowsky’s whole district, and everything else we need to make sure an independent effort is made to ask enough Schakowsky muscle-memory voters why they remain loyal to her so that they just sit home on Election Day and this awful person is booted from Congress.

With your help, we could conceivably double or even triple what we would be able to do without you… so $5 or $10 will help A LOT to make sure, together, we get to every house, every business, every store, and every street in Schakowsky’s district.

This is the best chance EVER to defeat her…and if she goes down, a stauch Obama accomplice, it will reverberate through the halls of the DNC like nothing else. (Collected October 22, 2010)


Dujan was just exhausted from canvassing by Election Day, but not too exhausted to post the usual quarter mile of verbiage, none of it describing any experiences (unlike his Halloween posts) he had, or whom he met, or how many palm cards he printed up with the money he begged for! Nor did he include any images of palm cards, or indicate any content, etc. Why, it's almost as if none of it ever......

** **** ** **** ** **** **

We’re saving up to build a new site that will be ad-supported in the future (which we can’t do here on WordPress) and to archive everything that’s been created for the last two years here on HillBuzz, as well as investing in some marketing initiatives that will grow our readership and make the new site self-supporting in the months ahead. If you like what you read here every day, and get enjoyment from it, we appreciate any help you can give as we make this push to grow and become a bigger presence in the political and satire worlds. (collected October 7, 2010)

** **** ** **** ** **** ** ****

September 17, 2010
Help us cover what the JournoLists won’t
Posted by hillbuzz under Uncategorized
Comments Off


Donate

If you like what you read here, we’d appreciate any support you can give…it helps us get to political events and do the things that keep the stories flowing. It also helps us continue towards the day when we can have a new ad-supported site that willtake a massive burden off us and fund many HillBuzz adventures in the future. (Collected Sept 17th, 2010, a day where Hillbuzz curiously did not mention Des Moines, or the Reagan Dinner (see below). Hope the Hillbuzzers didn't fall for that one!)

** **** ** **** ** ****
We don’t have a lot of time to pull this together, but we’re going to try to head over to Des Moines, Iowa on September 17th to cover Governor Sarah Palin’s appearances there…culminating in the Reagan Dinner that night. Apparently, the Governor will be doing several events in Iowa on the 17th, and we’d like to be on the ground to take it all in…and report back here to you on it. (collected Sept 7, 2010)

** **** ** **** ** **** ** ****

We’ve actually been through a few rounds of this already, where we’ve worked with people who said they were going to help us get off WordPress and onto a new site of our own, with better ability to do what we want to do, but then for whatever reason things fall apart. ("whatever" is working harder here than an Alabama chain-gang in August-ed.)

It’s almost always been a funding issue, with the expense of doing the things we need to have done in terms of backup protection and server space and bandwidth usage being prohibitively high — especially when we weigh those costs against doing things we think are more important, like going to various political events and getting more items to write about. (sadly, Mr. Dujan seems not to have shown up at any of the events for which he begged traveling funds, except the Glenn Beck rally, where he alone showed up despite begging money for his imaginary friends to come along, and about which none of "them" posted any recaps, despite promising to. In fact, he didn't even show at the Chicago Conservatives 4 Palin meet-up, which would have cost him nothing but a little time.)
(collected aug 14, 2010)

** **** ** **** ** **** **

This is just a partial collection. Feel free to add your own favorite examples of $HillBegging, if you wish; I hate leaving out some of the classics, but I am, unlike Kevin Dujan, only one person, and do not have the Energy of the Mad to help me!

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, resuscitated by none other than Kevin Dujan himself.

Mucking Around With Chicago Young Republicans: Hillbuzz's Prophet-Making Enterprise

Identities shielded out of sheer embarrassment for the subjects

The absurd little man who once selected Snarkopolitan for random target practice, Kevin Dujan, aka Harvey Bilk, Lord Of The Flies at $hillbuzz (on right, sporting air of mystery and overactive antennae), collected his first real scalp this summer. Based largely on the paranoid Palinophile's not very reliable say-so, his erstwhile buddy, the president of Chicago Young Republicans (above, in pink turban) (and a purported member of the Mittens Mafia of Romney thuggery!!!) was forced out, and now Harvey's clamoring for more scalps. And more.

Harvey's confabulatory antics are well known to Snarkopolitan's, and other, rightier blogs', regular readers, and I really wasn't going to revive this post, but since Harvey's wading back into the icky goo of Chicago politics, a little perspective might be a good thing.

Time was when Harvey and the turbaned fellow above were, as a Chicago magazine put it, "Unlikely Friends." Heck, as the tagline says, "They’d probably be enemies if they weren’t best buds!" Oh true, oh inarguable! The friendship, in fact, must have gone awfully sour.

First, let's consider this quote:

"Unbalanced, vainglorious, and vindictive, yet exceedingly charming and bisexually attractive, “The Prophet” was fired by the Murphy campaign"

"The Prophet?" What is this, an airport paperback? It is fiction, isn't it? Triply adjectival horrible fiction?

It isn't fiction? Well, in a way. It is another Dujanian brew of Gothic poli-romance junk fiction, with more unsubstantiated accusations by mysterious anonymous shadow figures than populate the crumpled contents of Danielle Steele's wastebasket. "The Prophet," Dujan insists, is in fact the very same young man with whom he is posed up there as the Beast With Two Fronts!

And, even better, the unnamed group that emails Hillbuzz (and a few other Chicago RW polibloggers, not all of whom are persuaded) calls itself, ludicrously, "Roxy Vanilla."

This blog's interest in the particulars of Chicago Republican politics is miniscule, but if political organizations are going to start tricking themselves out like drag queens and posting rabid, foam-flecked perorations that are to oratory what armpit-solos are to violin concertos, we're going to have a look. And looky here at this spectacular piece of wroth-waxing:

"Resign PROPHET, just resign. Resign before you are thrown out. Or

do you want to go out in some blaze of glory and burn the whole
house down with you? That is more your style isn’t it. Guess
what? There are more surprises coming. Do not even think you are
smart or you can maneuver your way out. You lost. Go. Quit.
Resign. Leave town. Get out. Put Chicago in your rear view
mirror. Or risk suffering the consequences.

Roxy Vanilla"

There was more. There was so much, much, more. But when you read that frothing, fantastic coup-de-grace, you know that Dujan must have fantasized about using it ever since he was a sprout bouncing on his parents' sofa, using a bathmat for a cape. Charming picture, until you realize it's a power-drunk thirtyish blogger aiming it at a 23-year-old former friend.

Hillbuzz's "Roxy Vanilla" stirs up an accusation against the head of the Chicago Young Republicans that had been handled internally, to the evident satisfaction of the original complainant, a year before. What Kevin Dujan does not mention in reheating this leftover is that he has a conflict of interest. In an October 5 post examining the whole mess, one Michael Volpe charges:

While Hillbuzz has been the driving force in raising the profile of this story, its proprietor, Kevin Dujan, failed to disclose a conflict of his own. He was a Hillary Clinton supporter who joined the CYR to help John McCain get elected. He stayed on after the election, but in June of 2009 he was considered for the position of fundraising director. ([!]--ed.)When that position went to another member, Dujan had a very public blow-up and wasn't seen by the group again.

Michael Volpe is a blogger for Andrew Breitbart's Big Government, which would not ordinarily recommend him, to put it delicately, to this scandalously lefty blog. But it's interesting to see a Breitbart writer take on another blogger who has been doing his best to flirt with Breitbart. Given the pounds-per-square-inch of hissy fits, melodramatic outbursts, and passive-aggressiveness in any Hillbuzz post, it's not hard to imagine the reality of the "very public blow-up."

Volpe's article also details the divisions in the CYR that found Dujan parted from his "best bud," which tidbit of course Dujan omits in his breathless pulp-thriller plot.

Just as Snarkopolitan doesn't want to become embroiled in Chicago Republican (or any Republican!) politics, this blog isn't going to pass judgement one way or another on the young man Dujan was so eager to accuse, except to remind all parties to consider this particular source.

But this is not the end of the story. It actually gets crazier.

The crux of the accusation against "the Prophet" is that he either tried to put some cheesy moves on, or attempted to restrain by sitting on the lap of, a young woman who didn't find him compelling, and wanted to leave, which she subsequently did with another woman who'd been there the entire time. But Dujan doesn't give his audience details; he simply calls the encounter, "attempted date rape:"

"Murphy was provided with a copy of the attempted date rape complaint filed against “The Prophet” by a young Chicago woman back in July 2009; Murphy received that complaint while he was still attempting a gubernatorial bid of his own, running with a staff comprised squarely of “The Prophet” and other young, relatively inexperienced 'Romney Guys'”

Date rape? That's horrible. There are obviously ugly political currents underlying this post, but that's a serious charge the writer's passing along there. So the segue seems a little abrupt when in the comments of the same post, the readers are treated to this:

Hillbuzz Says:

July 16, 2010 at 10:40 am
"We will give him this: he is cute. especially when he first wakes up in the morning and is all mussed hair mr. blondy sleepy needs his coffee bear."

WAIT....What?

Oh, jeez. Of course.

After all, this is Hillbuzz! So Harvey Bilk has just published allegations that "the Prophet" may be a rapist, and now, in the comments of that same post, he's calling him "mussed hair mr. blondy sleepy needs his coff---"
blechh blechh blechhh!

Excuse me.

But what is the proper response when somebody tells you:

a. So-and-so should be investigated for committing rape.
b. And I've slept with him! And he is like, so cute!

Harvey's loyal readers have had a little trouble digesting this one, and some couldn't quite fight either the nausea or the cognitive dissonance:

B***** Says:

July 16, 2010 at 10:51 am
"Oh, ICK! What a geek!! Ip, I agree.
If this is the best Old Moneybags can DO, that’s just sad!

The Boyz said he was cute so I was expecting somebody MUCH more studly.
Not in a million years!"

Now fights there within the bosom of Harvey Bilk a battle royal between his Sammy Glickitudinous desire to advance himself, and his preening vanity, which begs that his readers recognize that he does NOT sleep with sad icky "if this is the best old Moneybags can do" unstudliness. No! He sleeps with positively adorable date-raping man-candy, prompting this exchange:

Hillbuzz Says:

July 16, 2010 at 11:01 am
"He is nerdy cute. And a surprisingly good snuggler."

Reply
B***** Says:

July 16, 2010 at 11:13 am
"TMI…TMI…TMI…TMI!!!!!

Boyz, have mercy!
Must…find…brain…bleach"


B***** and other of Harvey's followers are conflicted any old which way; is B***** repelled by the idea that Harvey's called a rapist "cute?" Or is she unable to handle the fairly tame mental image of two men snuggling? Or is it those two men? As Hillbuzz's audience gradually turned from Hillarophiles to Palinophiles, the number of people comfortable with even mild homoerotica undoubtedly dropped. Where she fit in the continuum is hard to say.

In any case, BRAIN BLEACH, STAT!

Boasted friend to women, and boastful lover of their (and some men's, too!) sexual predator, Harvey Bilk is quite a piece of work.

It's not funny that either this man has done what he is accused of, or else he is the innocent target of a Hillbuzz smear campaign. Or that there's a greyish, boozy, furry reality not easily discernible to anyone, even the participants.

As always, Harvey buries his hapless readers in yards and yards of unrelieved block text, in post after post about Chicago Republican politics that this blog is not going to try to dissect. Frankly, except for hoping that there was in fact no date-raping going on, this blog's official position is not to care.

Except to note that the all the raping, closeted, covering-up miscreants seem to be part of that damnable gang of smiley-faced Utah-based mafia, the Mormons, whose bland menace is represented in the Buzz-reviled person of Mitt Romney. Mittens is running, putatively, against the Kwittin' Image herself, former half-Governor Sarah Palin. And that might have everything to do with why Harvey Bilk has pulled the plug on a beautiful, unlikely friendship, one that got the retiring Mr. Bilk a write-up, by name, with picture, half a year before he went thermonuclear at the idea that he had been "outed."

The retiring and anonymous Mr. Bilk might also have forgotten an interview he gave to a magnificently credulous CBS reporter. Bilk happily gave his real name, the name of his virulently nutty online screedatorium, Hillbuzz, and FAN-ta-sized designing a green wardrobe for his inamorata, Sarah Palin.

And by green, he doesn't mean organic bamboo rayon, he really means GREEN. Because dressing like a Lucky Charms logo is sure to quieten the voices of Enviro-fascists who are not in love with the Alaskan Frozen Cheezkake. Excellent job of branding, Harvey.

How could the Palin campaign ever get by without you.

**BONUS!!**

Harvey's "All the Kids Love It When I Read My Hatemail Post turned into a Wordle! (Click through for full-size) "I" "Me" "My!"

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, who says, "Ask me about Tattoine Sarlacs! Go ahead, ask me!"

Trowel Dissection, Part Deux: Kevin Dujan Loves A Good Character

Ya want lies with that, honey?

Oh, Brother! All right, she might exist. A snappy, red-haired, hash-slinging waitress named Shirley, who works in a Chicago diner, orders the customers to finish their vegetables, reads twinks for filth on their unflattering club kid outfits, and still is naively exuberant enough to wave at the television because Kevin Dujan is on it could possibly exist somewhere outside of Mr. Dujan's febrile imagination.

But she bears more than a passing resemblence to every Central Casting stock waitress ever to have slapped an order of Adam and Eve on a raft in front of a hard-boiled dick (tective! Pipe down, back there!) in a film noir since Philip Marlowe first pulled up the collar of his trenchcoat. Only in this case the hard-boiled dick (it's what they're called! All right?) is Kevin Dujan, survivor of nefarious left-wing plots, mercilessly bullied by the Forces of Evyll (the "bullying" coming mostly in the form of snickering. But hey, snickering hurts like fire!)

So far, Harvey Bilk's most enchanting characters have failed to materialize. The most glaring absence was the botched Glenn Beck rally meet-up, where all of Kevin's Brideshead ReRan characters were somehow somewhere else, despite Dujan's customers having paid for each of their rooms and travel: where was Panda? Where Robby? Sebastian Grey?

Eventually, Dujan simply stops talking about Sebastian Grey, whose clever little graphic looks suspiciously like...Kevin Dujan. Who is a "lifelong Democrat" of exactly the same stripe as Kevin Dujan. And, who most tellingly, writes exactly, lengthily, like Kevin Dujan. And who wrote just a couple of posts before disappearing, presumably back to his dashing life as a second-string Evelyn Waugh personage, fretfully plucking at the pills on his acrylic cricket sweater in the back of Dujan's overpopulated imagination, waiting for his next call on the bench next to Ann-Louise Melton in her Eve Arden-smart hopsacking suit, adorable Panda, dear little Niblet, and other characters named after whatever other previously inanimate foodstuffs Dujan found he could turn into Lewis Carroll-like figures (Alice? Pudding! Pudding? Alice! Take away the Pudding!) because his eye fell upon them while in the midst of a creative seizure, whether on his plate, in the pantry, or perhaps waving from the late-night television screen. Anyone for a Patty Melt? Writes exactly like Sebastian Gray, which is to say exactly like our own fabulist Kevin Dujan!

So here we are back at Shirley the snappy waitress, who slings hash with pride, but has a secret sorrow: no, not being a lesbian--this is Boystown! No no, worse: she is a Conservative! A Conservative Lesbian waitress, and just one of a circle of Conservative Lesbians, so thrilled to see Dujan bravely representing the Gay Conservative underclass on the Tube that Shirley stands up and waves at him on the TV like a tweeny-bopper at a Justin Beiber concert.

It seems that Shirley is grateful, because she, as a Republican, is part of an oppressed minority for whose rights Kevin is now bravely fighting: members of the service industry whose employers monitor their right-wing reading matter.

Introducing Eye-Candy Dan, a 23-year-old who walks around Boystown with a copy of George W Bush's biography under his arm, causing the owner of the bar where he works to erupt in fury and, according to Dujan, fire him:

“You aren’t a Republican, are you?”, the owner asked him. “Because you can’t work here if you are a Republican. Your ass is gone if you are Republican”.

(Charming patchwork effect thanks to Googlecache.)

Add Eye-Candy Dan to Scaredy-Cat Craig, the bartender who's afraid to be seen talking to Kevin Dujan, the both of them victimized, like Shirley the Waving Waitress, by relentless persecution from the Lefty Haters of Boystown.

Here I have a personal detail to reveal. A couple of decades ago, I, Mrs. Polly, worked for a gay bar. It was a drag bar in the middle of North Carolina, and after I did Art Deco-esque murals behind the upstairs bar, the owner hired me to be a kind of bouncer for the drag queens' dressing room. I was really sort of like the nanny goat in a stable of thoroughbreds.

I had a simply wonderful time with the DQs, who treated me as a combination living Barbie Head (my unprocessed hair was always good for a few hot-roller experiments), and drag-guardian (their sparkly articles were referred to thusly: "thanks for watching over my drag, honey").

It would of course be wrong to extrapolate the behavior of all bar owners from my couple of years of experience, but I still feel safe in saying that all a bar owner is interested in is employees who will show up reliably and keep their fingers out of the till. My North Carolingian drag-bar employer hired drag queen rednecks (yes!), and would have hired Jesse Helms himself if his physique had been better and he'd been willing to dance in a go-go cage.

So Dujan's fantastic and typically unsupported tale of persecution is even more ludicrous than the usual, though "I will reveal the details if ever "Dan" finds another job" can be added to the list of promises which Harvey Bilk's cult members are not likely to see fulfilled (Pictures of the Glenn Beck Rally, anybody?). A bartender's job is to sell drinks. If he looks hot, he'll sell more drinks (and make better tips), and the bar owner doesn't give a flying fig who the bartender talks to as long as his money's good. Period, Finis.

Surely, some of Harvey Bilk's characters must exist, musn't they? Perhaps so. The trouble is telling which, since we know Harvey's, to be kind, a creative writer. Putting himself at two different Thanksgiving tables to construct the same sad craft-paper turkey is just one example of what multitudes he contains. Or, to be succinct: he's a liar.

We do know, however, that some of Harvey Bilk's, or Kevin Dujan's, characters absolutely exist. Who are they? His victims. His victims, his victims. If he attacks someone, he usually does it by full name and location if he can get hold of it, over and over. His fabrications, tellingly, are always the same: that his supposed antagonists wish him to die of AIDS, even the gay ones, whether live or by email. It's an ugly, ugly, accusation, an ugly, ugly thought, and, after twenty-five years of the world's living with AIDS, curiously behind-the-times. Though bigots may still resort to wishing AIDS upon homosexuals, there is a wealth, sad to say, of (don't bother if you don't have to with this depressing link; it's just for verification) other slurs frequently employed by homophobes in 2010. Teenagers on Facebook, for example?

That every hateful person in contact with Kevin Dujan uses the exact same expression once again points to the fabricated nature of his complaints. It's the work of a lazy fiction writer. It also points to Kevin Dujan's sad, repellent, interior.

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, part of an ever-growing network of post-Dujan blogs left and right. Cheers, kids! What a long strange trip, etc!

Happy Hillidaze! Requiem For A Real Turkey

Amazing. He has time to put up eight posts by two PM, despite his exhausting schedule of nonstop altruism. No matter how done he is, he still keeps gobbling!

**UPDATE** Fourteen (14) posts on Thanksgiving, including Arts and Crafts with all his friends, whose pictures, nay, even pictures of his friends' hands making crafts, never appear. I can understand their reluctance. The Internet is a crazy place. The Shillbuzzed Community's sympathies to new Dujan victim M. M. (He gives her full name and location, of course! I hope she doesn't have an Ebay business to expose!)who will shortly be feeling the full effects of her unwitting exposure to the World's Crummiest Would-Be Cult Leader. This is why I am not yet ready to let bygones be bygones. The World's Crummiest Would-Be Cult Leader will continue to cry victim while victimizing others, which just burns me.

Oh well. Enjoy your day, friends, however you spend it. We're able to talk to each other, and I'm thankful for that.