RW Pearlclutching Claptrap Of The Day: ZOMG, UMBRELLAGATE!

YooHoo, Megan "Only Douchebags do it"  Fox!

You should watch your filthy mouth, young lady. Or perhaps wash it; putting your foot that far in is bad enough, without stepping in a load of something first.

Megan Fox loathes people like this!

Took me 30 seconds of teh Google to find this image. If this is a sample of your researching skillz, what a wonderful fit you are for Hillbuzz! Add in your tasteful race-baiting invocation of "slaves," plus P. Diddy and Michael Jackson, and Neville Chamberlain for variety, and you've got quite the virulent hatefest.

Ironic that the President created a sensation on his first state visit to China for carrying his own umbrella, isn't it?

Is there a problem, Mr. Premier?

Megan Fox is not entirely to blame for her own silliness; she just obediently picked up the story from some RW propaganda factory like Weasel Zippers and added just enough hysteria to attract other people disposed to fume over a non-story involving their favorite hate-object.

"Douchebags," photo according to Pottymouth Megan Fox

At least Kevin would be creative. Where has he got to, anyway?

Brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, where we fondly remember the ineluctable stupidity of the RW flip-out over Jacketgate, too.

Since Hillbuzz Loves To Put President Obama In Whiteface So Much...

Speak harshly to your little marks,
And ban them when they grumble,
Call them Eeyores, trolls and orcs;
Abuse will keep them humble.

One good 'Shop deserves another.

**UPDATE**

AND ANOTHER!! 

Wee slickit, paranoid, slandrous beast,
Your world is not so jolly,
But we don't mind you in the least,
Welcome to Chez Polly!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Brought to you as always by Mrs.Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, running twice as fast just to keep three steps behind the exhausting pace of Harvey Bilk!

Hillbuzz: RRRaaacist Or Not? YOU Be The Judge! Tonight's Show: "Especially If They're Black"

"I don't see why it's wrong; what think you?"

The following headline from the awful blog that once tried to make a meal out of poor old neglected Snarkopolitan falls into a category of communication that I like to call Questions That Answer Themselves:

QUESTION: Should children of a president never be criticized (especially if they are black)?

That, of course, would be Lord of the Flies at Hillbuzz, Harvey Bilk, artlessly wondering, in his sociopathic way, why he shouldn't light into the first daughters, since they may not be Obama's daughters at all; daughters that perfect couldn't come from those parents, and besides, they look nothing like him!

This although, Harvey airily admits (still writing in the imaginary plural),



"it’s something that’s never occurred to us before, because we never write about the current “president’s” daughters and have never bothered to learn which of the girls is which."



Yes! He just can't tell the Obama girls apart! But let's cut him some slack; after all, we know Harvey isn't interested in shallow, mutable, deceiving externals like personal appearance.

All right, I'm better now. I had to lie down for a minute with a gin bottle pressed against my forehead.

"we really don’t believe they’re even his girls, because they look nothing like him," sniffs Harvey, before going on to delight his collection of sissy-hating Hillbuzzers with a little Obama-centered homophobia,



"and because the current “president” is a closeted gay man we have a very hard time believing has ever slept with a woman…let alone the person who is the current “First Spouse.”



(Wishing may not make it so, but quotation marks come close.)

Most of Harvey's commenters, while less tone-deaf than Dr. Laura's would-be Soul Sister, rationalize away their joy in shredding the President's children because questioning their parentage and snarking their clothing is not aimed at the cheeldren; their mother dresses them! Nine-year-old Sasha (described by Dujan's one actuall co-blogger, "Grammy Hillbuzz," as having "weird feet"), wouldn't feel upset at having her parentage questioned and her clothing called ugly, now, would she? The Hillbuzzers are just concerned.

But, one commenter wonders, when will we get back to Harvey's real point, which is the terrible privations he suffers not being able to criticize the President's children, since they are black?

sophie Says:

August 15, 2010 at 9:22 pm
I think the original post raised a larger question ? Can we never criticize racial minorities, or risk being viewed as racists?
I think the Obama’s have been handled with the softest of kid gloves on this issue, to the detriment of our country.

Finally! After a number of commenters dropped the ball, arguing with a "troll" who objected to their even discussing the children, Sophie gets the whole picture: it's time to take off the kid gloves and get to work. Harvey has the answer he wanted at last.

Brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, at sporadic intervals because unlike certain "events coordinators," Mrs. Polly works for her money!

Sarah Palin Is Positively Polarizing!

New-ku-lar Winter's Comin' Early!

First, apologies to my fours of readers for the long, employment-based absence, during which many, many wonderfully awful happenings went unremarked by anybody but the whole entire rest of the blogosphere, where I hope they found succor.

Second, it is just plain impossible to keep pace with the bubbling cauldron of lunacy over at that place which once had my poor little defunct blog in its crosshairs, because I do not have the strength of the Mad; Harvey's One-Stop All-You-Can-Hate Shack has stayed open for business 24/7. But I bring you this latest morsel, and hope to find a few more from the murky stew he keeps reheating, soon:

Hillbuzz is now trying to "take back" the term "Polarizing" and make it into a positive. Brilliant! Next, he/they can work on making "Ignorant," "Jingoistic," "Self-righteous," "Quitter," "Paranoid" and "Shameless" into positives. Given the material he/they* have to work with, it's a technique he/they* had better learn to perfect.

*Look at the graceless, exhausting, sameness of HB's endless river of phlegmy prose , combined with no physical manifestation of any "boiz" except for Harvey. Two dollars says that "Panda" is sitting on Harvey's bed right now, sporting tear-soaked modacrylic fur, kapok stuffing, and a missing ear.

Brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, as always running twice as hard just to not fall behind too tragically, since unlike the Beggar Of Boiztown (oh why not), we work!

.

Hillbuzz: Absolutely Fatuous

Why are Pats and Palin depicted in front of the White House? Because they've an equal chance of getting into it, darling.

Pointlessly prolific Harvey Bilk of Shillbuzz loves reruns, and "Class V Crass" is a perennial fave at Harvey's Emporium of Warmed-Over Wingnuttery. It's unsurprising, since his audience demands quantity, not quality, that he should turn to some well-worn classics again and again.

The Lord of the Flies at Shillbuzz uses the series to contrast First Spouse Michelle Obama (no "Lady" for Michelle; rather than call her that, he'll just eschew the term completely!) with First Spouses he prefers, including poor First Drinker Mamie Eisenhower, and, hilariously, LOU HOOVER, much admired for her patience in having to live with the clueless Herbert, who lent his name to so many small cardboard towns during the Great Depression.

Now Shillbuzz has a poll on which First Spouse to slam Michelle with next, as well as the newest installment, which depicts Alaska's Half-First Dude (or is it First Half-Dude? One never is sure about courtesy titles for quitters' spouses) with, of course, Baby Trig, whom he is carefully trying to keep out of the media spotlight, as a caring parent would, you know.

Todd, incidentally, may also bear the honor of being America's first Ominous Shadow Half-Governor, in which case Sarah might just be her own Half First Spouse, or First Half---oh hell, you get the picture. Now that's Mavericky. Anyway, wouldn't having a First Spouse under investigation be exciting! And it doesn't matter which Palin, because both of them have been investigated and found guilty!

While lacking the resources of Shillbuzz's Mystery Photoshopper--and in particular the Photoshop, we* have endeavored to provide just a little of that sort of edgy fun for Snarkopolitan's fives of readers. And doesn't Harvey's beloved Sarah deserve to be compared with the best? So here she is, rocking the same 'do in her retro-ironic way years before Sarah ever picked up the Aqua-Net. Both gals are utilizing their second-favorite props, sporting designer apparel of dubious provenance, and blowing smoke. The difference is that in Pats' case, you know the worst it could be is weed.

Sure, the Class V Crass series seems shallow, pissy, the sort of thing someone does who is seriously underemployed and possessing of a damaged psyche which can only feel good by projecting its self-hatred outward onto an undeserving hate-object. But how can we understand the worldview of one of the globe's formost purveyors of curdled inanity without venturing into his world and trying to see it as he sees it, through his shining little beady rodent eyes?

*brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, and written in the baffling third person à la Shillbuzz, even though we are in fact only one person and only able to bring you intermittent installments on Shillbuzz's exhaustive supply of foolishness, since, unlike a certain "special events planner," we have a job!

Yes, Hillbuzz is JUST THIS STUPID!

'
Actual, if blinged-out, screencap, just like all the other actual screencaps!

NOW do you believe me? In the previous post, a commenter was incredulous that the proprietor of Shillbuzz, Harvey Bilk, could be so remarkably pea-brained as to think that Air Force One could survive a "direct nuclear blast" (Harvey's words, my hand to God).

Harvey was merely parroting the wingnut line that Obama deliberately snubbed Poland by not taking the Rolls-Royce engines of Air-Force One through a volcanic dust cloud to the funeral for the Polish president (secret shorter wingnut: oh, why did it have to be POLAND!), because Harvey is all about upholding the dignity of ethnic minorities, particularly the plentiful, Dem-voting ones in Shillbuzz's current crash-pad, Chicago.

But there was a time when Harvey was less concerned with the Polish community, a time not very long ago, in fact, just this last Paczki Day, which as it happens is the last Tuesday or Thursday before Lent. The Poles' version of a pre-Lenten blowout involves consuming the eponymous Paczki, which are delightful little jam-bloated fried cakes.

Some of us go for feather masks and demeaning ourselves for beads on balconies, and some of us go for jam-bloated fried cakes, and far be it from me to cast aspersions on either camp. But Harvey Bilk worked himself up into a purplish-green lather over Paczki Day, because he's A-MURRICAN! HE celebrates Mardi-Gras, not some damn old European thingie from tradition-riddled stupid old Europe. He even took it out on the paczki, acidly referring to them as "jelly donuts," as if that were a bad thing.

Friends, Poles, Cajun-Americans, I ask you: what sort of a man attacks a people's donuts (sic)?

Harvey's anti-Polish Donut Rant above is still available, I think, for a while, at his website, until he tumbles to the amount of pointing and laughing he's getting (there's your bump in traffic, Harvey!) at how spectacularly silly and floridly insane he is. Then, the Polish Donut Rant will join some of his other fine work (including the much-missed Inflounce Post, July 2009, which would have embarrassed Aimee Semple McPherson) in the recycle bin of Intertubal history.

brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, thanks to the defibrillator paddles of this same Harvey Bilk, and somewhat behind schedule as usual, since, unlike "events coordinator" Harvey, Mrs. Polly works!

Hillbuzz Racking Up The Frequent Failure Miles

When you've nothing to go on, don't let that stop you

It is simply impossible to keep up with Shillbuzz's Frequent Flier Program for Nonstop Stupidity. Harvey Bilk, who operates Shillbuzz, dropped this bit of atomic foolishness the other day at his One Stop All You Can Hate Shack: the President deliberately didn't go to Poland because he just didn't want to!

That Icelandic volcano which grounded air traffic throughout Europe had nothing to do with it-- Air Force One is capable of surviving a direct nuclear blast!!! Yess!!!!! You can lob warheads at it all day, and the President's hand won't even tremble as he signs another government takeover bill with his damned lefty pen!

It's nice to see that "Special Events Coordinator" Harvey has taken a breather from his coordinating to dash off this charmingly vivid scenario with all of his usual attention to accuracy. Imagine how good he must be at coordinating events.


brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, revived to its owner's astonishment, and sporadically exploring manifold idiocy, when we aren't too busy with other things, because unlike certain "special events coordinators," we work for a living!

American Thinker: Barack Obama Is Just Like A Killer Whale In So Many Ways!

It was so obvious, it was just staring the country in the face, but it took the intermittently firing neurons of Jeannie deAngelis at American Thinker to formulate and give vent to just what everyone's been thinking:

Barack Obama is an out-of-control Monster Orca, and regrettably, now we all know it:

Pictures of Dawn Brancheau balancing triumphantly on Shamu's snout are reminiscent of Obama supporters in "joyful harmony" with the new president following the last election.

The similarities are so numerous, and so tragic: two beasts, seemingly friendly as long as they're caressed, but hiding their true agendas behind toothy smiles and false diffidence. What is their true desire? To drag us down, down, down, till we can struggle no more!

Like Brancheau stroking Tilly's nose, a sycophantic electorate massaged Obama's ego. One year later, Democrats constrained by faltering poll numbers appear "agitated." Why? Because America stopped feeding and rubbing Barry's political proboscis, and now the star of the show's belligerent, temperamental comments are manifesting more and more frequently.

Yes, it was a horrible presumption on the part of the public that a beast like Barack Obama could ever be happy in such an unnatural environment as the presidency:

captive killer whales have been known to attack handlers," which explains why Democrats, confined by the majority's criticism of liberal political ideology, produce stress reactions, causing "smart animals" like Obama to "lash out."

Truly, for the sakes not just of all of us, but for his sake, too, let us join Jeannie and all the American Thinkers to demand that Barack Obama be released back into the wild.

Free Barry! Free Barry!
He is way too much like a killer whale!

brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead barracuda of blogs, and cross-posted at rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog. Covering some of the folly but not all, because we are only one person, and we have a job!

Hillbuzz: Rrraaaacist Or Not? YOU Be The Judge!!!

Oprah & Tiger, brought together by Pisscylla Herself!


Harvey Bilk, Lord of the Flies at Shillbuzz, certainly is preoccupied with the posteriors of black women! As someone who does what he does to what's left of his crowning glory voluntarily, you would think he'd know when to leave other people's physical characteristics alone! But no essay on Oprah's butt would be complete without talking about Tiger Woods...for some reason. At least not at "freelance events-coordinator" Harvey's One Stop All-You-Can-Hate Shack. I suppose the Daily Hate does count as an event, of sorts.

Brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, cataloging just some of the stupidity at Shillbuzz, since we are only one person! (And we have a job.)

It's Called A Search Engine, Sugar Cube; Hillbuzz Lets Fly At Michelle Obama

ere
Perennially stuck doorbell of intolerance Harvey Bilk of Shillbuzz thinks Michelle Obama is no Jackie Kennedy! Well, we think * Harvey Bilk is no Lloyd Bentsen, either. Though he may be a Bentson, though that is a matter upon which we prefer not to speculate.

Posted without links, begging your pardon. Ever since Shillbuzz shocked poor old neglected Snarkopolitan from a ten-month coma into painful hyper-vigilance, I, I mean, "we," have been averse to linking to the easily-located drive-up window of deep-fried foolishness at Harvey's One-Stop All You Can Hate Shack.

Nevertheless, Snarkopolitan is, thanks to the signal service of Harvey Bilk, awake. And not particularly pleased with him or his little coterie of garbled armchair Marples. So Snarkopolitan will from time to time pop in to Shillbuzz's little enterprise, though don't expect me, I mean us, to keep up with all the nonsense, the vapidity, and the smearing. I am only one person.

*and by "we," I mean "I," but if Harvey insists on using the plural, I may as well avail myself of it as well. Though isn't it eerie that all the writing on Shillbuzz is in the same reedy, nasal, querulous drone?

The Compleat Orliad, In No Particular Order

Orly is our Joan of Arc--Maertin Pinsky

Normally, if you can even say normally in any sentence proximate to Orly Taitz's loyal follower Maertin Pinsky, you'd say he is a few cartridges short of a magazine. This, for example, is your average Maertin Pinsky:

The Military govenor will be a patriot and will in time return–after order is restored, government to civilian control where safeguards wil be built in NEVER to allow Boeskys, Millens, Rutkowskis. Madoffs etc, to rise and emerge as virtual dictators in their specialties. The punishment is execution for screwing over innocent hard working people expecting the best in treatment and trust.
Enough is enough–
ORDER BEFORE JUSTICE
A CALL TO ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......

The cockroached are in the walls of governmnet at all levels of corruption and the RAID spray will reach them.

Yes, Maertin's cure for preventing virtual dictators is to install actual dictators. Just as soon as you-know-who is proven not to be the duly elected executive, but

that usurper bastard now in office–hopefully not for long.

Maertin's plans are heroic; in fact, they transcend the mortal realm:

.

Arrested as well are leaders of Goldman Sachs, Paulison Jr. Raines, Johnson, and suimmarilly executed: Sol Alinsky and BillAYERS.

But Maertin clapped the title of Saint Joan on Dentist/Lawyer (the latter legal in the overgenerous state of California only) Orly Taitz quite sensibly, as long as you remember that Orlymatter is always negatively charged.

Instead of trying to crown the rightful leader of the people, she's trying to unseat him. Instead of abjuring female accoutrements, she is so permeated with them that her veins must run with peroxide and her brain be coated in carnauba wax. Instead of penury, she has Paypal (or had; she also has Paranoia, so now she demands that her followers mail her money directly). And she's a mother of three, so we needn't inquire further on the Maiden front.

Still, she shares a few traits with the Maid of Orleans: grandiosity, implacability, and a bowl-shaped hairdo, though with Joan it was more of a cereal bowl and Orly's is more of a punch bowl.

She also serves for inspiration amongst the foot soldiers:

But, wait! What is that thunderous sound?
So very loud, it shakes the ground.

Could it be millions upon millions of Patriots’ feet?
That is marching, ever marching to Liberty’s drumbeat.
Now, the good men will no longer ignore.
The oath of allegiance that they did swore.
Our Constitution is the key to restore
To the erosion of Freedom WE say. “No more!”
---Kim American

Orly also has a Pretender to her throne, or Pyre: one Philip J. Berg, the 911 Truther, who some time ago got himself a law degree in person, and spent the last twenty years making his professors blush for having passed him.

Whereas these two once worked harmoniously together in the cause of trying to reverse the will of the people, it's not usual that two lyric sopranos occupy the same production, and the same goes for birth-certificate conspiracy theorist shysters. So Orly, having run afoul of Berg by spamming his assistant's social security number to her entire database of credulous nitwit supporters, found herself the subject of a lawsuit :

NOW COMES, Lisa Liberi, Philip J. Berg, Esquire, the Law Offices of Philip J. Berg, Evelyn Adams aka MommaA, Lisa M. Ostella and Go Excel Global, Plaintiffs by and through the undersigned counsel and brings this Complaint seeking injunctive relief and damages against the Defendants, Orly Taitz aka Dr. Orly Taitz aka Law Offices of Orly Taitz......

Orly is the one lawyer who could find Philip Berg 's suit beyond her skills to rebut. While not exactly equivalent to being captured by the English, that might take the ginger out of her for a while. But her powers of denial, evasion, and taste for posing as a martyr keep her humming along at her usual frenetic madwoman's pace.

On her site, she's asking for a Pennsylvania attorney, not to help her with Berg's suit, exactly, but:

I am looking for a name of a Pennsylvania attorney, licensed in Federal court in Philadelphia, who specializes in issues of parties defrauding non-profit organizations, SS and IRS fraud, defamation, cyber crimes, theft via the Internet.

An attorney of subtlety and artfulness, Orly must be faking left before jabbing right. Either that, or she's not just telegraphing her next punch, she's putting it up on the Jumbotron.

Not only do ammo-happy insurrectionists get to unite under Orly's fraying banner, but her site is useful as an aggregator for all kinds of off-road ludicrousness, where commenters fulminate against traffic circles, mouth-breathe about Fema camps, and sell snake-oil to each other, such as colloidal silver.



This last, colloidal silver, contains not only the usual dose of stupid, but is actually dangerous, and if ingested in any quantity can cause disfigurement, by turning the user a permanent, pronounced, deathly-looking gray. There is no known safe quantity; everyone's metabolism is different, so the only way to tell if you have a problem is when you have a problem, and then you have a giant problem.

It's tempting to let Orly's legions labor on in their belief that swine flu can be warded off with a few ampules of shiny quackery; once they turned themselves gray, they'd be easy to pick out of a crowd, if only to avoid. But since they might dose innocents like their children with it, we find it necessary to emphasize, for everybody:

Don't eat silver. Don't drink silver. Don't nibble on tea-trays, don't suck on repoussé serving spoons, don't do it.


Unless you want to match your suit of armour.

If you want to ingest something unproven, inefficacious, unpleasant, and expensive, take Super Blue-green Algae instead. At the very worst, you might turn a lovely shade of turquoise. Then you could pose as a mermaid, and wear seaweed in your hair.


*** *** *** *** *** *** ***


Book Two


This week was a very busy week for Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.
Yesterday, March 25, 2009, she pounded the pavement in DC.



First stop was to William Chatfield’s office, Director of the Selective Service



Dr. Taitz provided Mr. Chatfield with a full copy of the dossier sent to the Attorney General, Eric Holder.



She highlighted sections of the dossier to show Mr. Chatfield that Barack Obama has hundreds of Social Security Numbers and properties associated with his name. One Social Security Number in particular was issued in Connecticut, and lists him as being 118 years old. (Attachment B).
(Attachment D) shows that Magic Plumbing had worked on the sprinkler system at the World Trade Center just days before 9/11. One of the men that performed this work lived in Brooklyn. He left Brooklyn on 9/11 and went to Tennessee. A woman that had a court date involving identity theft with the motor vehicle department in Tennessee met a mysterious death.



Mr. Chatfield had no comment or thought in reference to this material being shown to him.


While at the Senate building, a phone report was made to Captain Crowford, legal counsel to Admiral Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff.



From there she went to Senator Kyl’s office, Minority Whip and Senate Judiciary Committee



After that, it was off to the Pentagon.



"Respectfully submitted.and is being hand delivered on my way to the airport, flying back to California"

As always, brought to you by a grant from the Anna Russell Foundation: "I'm Not Making This Up You Know!"

Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog.

The Orliad

From the Diary of Orly Taitz, D.D.S., J.D., C.O.D.


Yesterday I traveled to Idaho. I was able to address Chief Justice Roberts during the question answer session after his lecture. It was a grueling day, I left home at 3 in the morning after sleeping only 3 hours



and drove to San Diego



from there flew to Salt Lake City



from there to Spokane, Washington



from there I drove for a couple of hours to be in Moscow Idaho, to address Chief Justice Roberts.



After the lecture the audience was told, that they can ask questions, give their name and present a shot question. I was the first to run to the microphone



"My name is Orly Taitz, I am an attorney from Southern California. I left home at three o'clock in the morning and flew and drove thousands of miles to talk to you and ask you a question". Roberts seemed to be impressed by that and I continued. "Are you aware that there is criminal activity going on in the Supreme Court of the United States........



I am writing this in a hurry, ready to leave my hotel room, finishing yesterday's dinner leftovers and ready to board a plane for a grueling flight back home.



I missed time with my children, time that will never come back because a am criss crossing this country talking to Justices of the Supreme court, Representatives, Senators, FBI agents, Attorney Generals, US attorneys, telling all of them, what is wrong with you?



Did some evil magician put a spell on the men in this country and they stopped being men? Why are you afraid to tell this arrogant jerk from Africa and Indonesia- You need to go home,There is no proof that you are even a citizen. For all we know, you need to go back to Kenya and wait for your green card, and that after we try you for all the crimes perpetrated upon American citizens.

Brought to you by a grant from the Anna Russell School of "I'm Not Making This Up You Know!"



Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog.

Fainting Goats for Freedom

Supporting Dr. Orly, One Camelid At A Time

In these tough times, it's difficult scraping up the funds to support Dentist/Lawyer Dr. Orly Taitz's heroic struggle to bring down the nauseatingly popular usurper, British-Indokenyan Muslibertheosocialazi Barry Dunsoeterror. Dr. Orly understands. But having no money shouldn't stop you from making sure her coffers are filled:

Defend Our Freedoms Foundation

Want to help out but don't have money to donate? Defend Our Freedoms has partnered with Breederville.com. By registering at "this link", you can set up a business store, hold an auction, sell your products and sell livestock while supporting Defend Our Freedoms.

No Ebay cookie jars here. These auctions are for a Redder State crowd. Breederville's categories run more to Ratites (Emu, Ostrich, Rhea), Camelids, Waterfowl, and all the more usual animals and farm implements. Other than exotic fish, urbanites would have trouble participating in Orly's auctions.

There is a Studding, Semen, or Embryo category. A vial of Semen is small enough to go right in even a dorm-size refrigerator, but sadly, nobody is auctioning off any Freedom sperm. Nor are most of the really enticing sections of the livestock universe represented: no Fallow Deer, no Alligators, no Byelorussian Harness Horses, and, especially disappointing, no Tennessee Fainting Goats. I happen to know of at least one sure customer for a Tennessee Fainting Goat.

But you can bid for rabbit meat. ""High Quality Rabbit Meat"" at that. You can also bid for three different kinds of worms, including live colored wax worms. They come in seven frighteningly neon shades, and they are live, not wax. You can also get a compartmented plastic WaxiTaxi, so you can take them wherever you go, segregated.

I looked into the waxworm world, and I learned how to raise them, how to color them, how they differ from mealworms, how long they will keep their color underwater (up to one hour, but if your worm is still there after an hour, you have more problems than impermanent worm dye). What I didn't learn is why. Why dye them seven colors in the first place? But this might be one of those instances of ""If you have to ask why, you'll never understand.""

Dr. Orly's followers are also raising crickets and crayfish for her, and you can bid on bison bratwurst for the cause. So if you can't find a place in your life for a pound of neon wax worms, there's no reason to despair. You can still participate in Dr. Orly's Auctions. They're the only satisfaction she's ever likely to find from a gavel.

Update: Yes To Democracy is a site that has followed every twist of the many Obama birth certificate lawsuits and moronic fantasies to issue from the tangled brains of legal lights such as Orly, Phil Berg, et. al. Strange Appar8us, a regular commenter there and at Rumproast, has written the ultimate tag-team steel-cage scenario involving the lot of them. Not to read it is to lead a life ultimately unfulfilled.

(Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog)