Showing posts with label Comics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comics. Show all posts

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Crunchy Inside

Last week, NASA launched a small telescope named after Johannes Kepler into space. I have my own reasons for enjoying this, but who could not like this squat little spacecraft? It looks like a cross between a Pisco bottle and a Taco Bell Burrito. It's only a third the size of that maladjusted diva, the Hubble. Its mission is to search for habitable planets circling other suns, taking pictures of them with its 95 mega-pixel camera. It has almost no moving parts. Just a few thrusters and a couple of little reaction wheels to keep it pointed at its chosen section of the Milky Way.

It also has a honeycombed mirror, a couple of starfinders, the 95 megapixel photometer, and a High Gain Antenna so it can call home once a week. All of this wrapped in a snazzy blue solar cape that James Brown might have envied. You could argue that the money could be better spent on earth, but the way the earth is heading, we might need extra planets some day. So Kepler's not just a pretty face; Kepler's practical.

Kepler also twitters, somewhat alarmingly, in the first person. But at least Kepler has enough sense not to talk to strangers:

In 1973, Nasa sent two Pioneer spacecrafts right out of our solar system, and had the bad judgement to affix plaques to them with directions on how to find us. As if that weren't enough, Man and Woman are depicted on the plaques. Man is a '70s white dude with an atrocious blow-dried do (with possible sideburns) and Woman is missing something: her vulva.

Carl Sagan, whose bright idea the plaque was, and his wife at the time, Linda, who contributed the drawings, omitted what he called "a very short line" (a few civilizations have fallen on the existence of that "very short line") to make sure that the plaque would escape earthly prudery and go on to miseducate the universe.

Carl Sagan was a brilliant man and an optimist. But cluing in advanced civilizations on our whereabouts, is that the best idea? Really?
03-12-2009 01;27;27AM
The Envoys Arrive
03-12-2009 01;29;17AM
03-12-2009 01;32;38AM
03-12-2009 01;36;36AM
that evening, at the Hay-Adams:
03-12-2009 07;21;57PM
03-12-2009 07;24;40PM
Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog

Saturday, October 11, 2008

ONCE UPON A TIME IN WASILLA---- the Dairygate Follies, Part 1




That's all for now! But wait for our next installment, in which we find out how much cheese six hundred thousand dollars will buy, and meet a little girl who just happens to love cows.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Friday, May 2, 2008

Pulp Non-Fiction 2: Did Somebody say Death Threat?


Our apartment complex, *Muttonchop City, is in the throes of *Priv---oops, can't say it, but it ends in "atization." Thanks to a legal loophole,we're voting on whether we can sell our YOU THE TAXPAYER subsidized apartments for twenty times what we paid. One little group is trying to oppose this legalized theft, not very successfully so far.


Mr. and Mrs. Polly belong to this group, along with a lot of little old ladies who were brought up with loftier ideals than those of Baby Boomers like Toby Mugg, Esq., Titular Head of MuttonChop Rights, the pro-Priv----- well, you know. Ends in "atization"---group. Some of the pro-- people aren't shy about making their feelings known:


Yes, this is true. Yes, this is happening here. 95-year-old Clara writes spirited anti-Priv. letters to the local paper, so she's hated. When she was 92, she was sued for slander by the Titular Head of *Muttonchop Rights, acting as counsel for the even nastier Jerry Lewis sound-a-like lawyer, *Lonnie Angler.


We've a good idea who's the culprit:


Mr. Blatz has threatened my own Mr.Polly: "After we priv***ze, I'm gonna get you." Mr. Blatz has threatened so many old ladies he'll have to work a 40 hour week butchering them.

Mr. Blatz doesn't seem to realize that every time he rings Esther's doorbell, he's recorded by security cameras.

We're working on a surprise for Mr. Blatz.

all names, appearances and search terms have been altered to protect the Pollys from the wrath of their lovely neighbors.

Monday, April 28, 2008

MUTTONCHOP CITY SUNDAY FUNNIES*

The Vertical Trailer Park, a non-fiction comic




*all names, search terms and some appearances changed to protect the Pollys from the wrath of their lovely neighbors.