Hillbuzz: Don't Even Ask

Profound apologies to Phil Silvers fans

This is a proud day for America and Snarkopolitan. No, I refer not to the ending of DADT, though watching the men and women who have long served their country at last being able to experience the freedom they enlisted to defend made me a bit teary. But that was yesterday's news, and time, like the newly out-and-proud American soldier, marches on!


 Today, Snarkopolitan is pleased to announce the creation of the SnarkoBuzz Medal of Error, awarded for the saddest evidence of delusional thinking by the poor creatures in thrall to World's Crappiest Cult Leader over at Harvey Bilk's Emporium of Cut-Rate Hate and Moneygrubbing, Hillbuzz.*
*Note: this is not an award for mere stupidity or hatefulness, since Snarkopolitan is a little blog and couldn't handle the volume.


The first winner, a man of deep sentiment and even deeper pockets, appears in the Do We Like That Obama ended DADT? Don't Ask thread, where gays are fine as long as they stick to providing first-class conservative commentary and stay out of the shower. Yes, Kevin's got a civil-rights-averse enclave of homophobes cheerily attacking female and gay soldiers on his very own blog. Gays are part of Obama's plan to ruin the military, and will get preferential treatment! Women shouldn't be where testosterone-riddled manimals could get at them, for their own silly good! 


Perhaps someone from the Israeli Army should train our U.S. forces in proper military conduct, since the Hillbuzzers have so little faith in our troops. The Israeli army is integrated, both gender and preference, and nobody complains that they don't get the job done.


But our Medal recipient, Blog-Ad evergreen newtlove, wishes to remind us that while heroic gay men and women undertook to serve their country by hiding their orientation, they weren't as forthright as his hero Harvey Bilk, who tried to enlist, but was turned away for being too honest:


(They weren't as honest with their recruiters as Kevin was, and so they got in.) 

Snarkopolitan has tried to help Harvey achieve his dream before, and from his latest absence, we can only infer that he has taken his shoulder-mounted ghost-nuns and run off to make good on his commitment to God and country by joining up.  Heaven bless you, soldier! I'm sure they'll snap you up; the Marines having fought DADT the hardest, they are now recruiting the LGBT community the hardest, because they want to be the best at everything.  

Simper Feh

HOOAH!!!

Brought to you by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, enjoying how conveniently Kevin's epaulettes serve as platforms for shouldernuns! 

Kevin Dujan, Political Analyst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in 2008, I actually came up with a slogan for the Republican Party that I’ve tried giving them for two years now, and nobody ever wanted to do anything with it.

I think it’s something we could have a lot of fun with, so I’ve decided just to run with it here on HillBuzz.org to see what our more creative readers can come up with to fit the theme.

The slogan is:

Republicans: Not as evil as you think.

~~~~****~~~~

~~~*~~~

*

TA-DAH!


Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, who cannot possibly imagine why the Repubs didn't bite, can you?

An American Artemis For Hillbuzz

Half-Artemissed

O Great Grisly Mama of the Frozen North, Our American Artemis, your followers cry out to you for nourishment, yet none will you give them save the words "my plan," on which they suck even down to the last crumb, for from within to draw the nugatory virtue.

 We venerate thee, Fecund One, who appeareth now here, now there, wherever the light shineth on someone else, for though the voices of our tribe now raise up against thee, we will never falter in our devotion, no matter how embarrassing. 

Just ask Hillary.

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, with apologies to her conservative pals~~hey look, guys, you knew I couldn't keep pulling my punches forever!

Jokes That Write Themselves, Palin Dept: Half-Governor Runs Half Marathon

Conservative Trigger Warning: This post is rated two out of a possible six Conservative 'Splodey Heads.

 If you disagree with this rating, kindly contact mngmnt at provided email address, and to save time, please remember to have your properly arranged bribes in front of you. Your custom is very important to us. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Why, Why, WHY, Sarah? Why must you do my work for me?

And you went unannounced. And you came in second place. Why are you trying to do my job, Sarah Palin?

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, who will come in last in any age group unless it's the Diaper Derby, and perhaps even then!

Hey Hillbuzz, Is It Too Late To Enter This In The Photoshop Sarah Palin In The Oval Office Contest?

Conservative trigger warning: this post is rated four out of a possible six conservative 'splodey heads.

~~~~

Oh Harvey Bilk, do you have to hang em' right over the plate like this?

 You might as well be a pitcher for the Cubs:

What Would Hillbuzz Do Without Suckers?

Awful Merman

So since Kevin Dujan has managed to whip up a good profitable head of fury over a thoughtless aside about the youngest Palin, whose name Kevin constantly uses as a kind of all-purpose spray-on outrage freshener, you'd think somebody might question front-pager (and major contributor) Newt Love's thoughtless use of the pejorative suffix "tard." Wouldn't you?

Not feeling the Newt

Brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the Undead Blog, jolted to life by the tender ministrations of one Kevin Dujan. Something of a mistake on his part, it would seem! 

A Gift From Mr. Flibberly

No, not the usual sparkly thingy.

A much Flashier thingy!

Here.

~~Thank you, Mr. Flibberly.~~

(Conservative 'Splodey Brain Warning: on a scale of 1-10, I rate Mr. Flibberly's Flash thingy at 3 'Splodey Brains. Please bee advised and proceed accordingly. ; 0)

My Reality's Better! A Peaceful Delusion For The Season

Kim Jong-il, having gotten all the negative attention the dictator of a tenth-rate nuclear power could wish for, agrees to cease trading insults and ICBMs with the South, and accepts the Obama Administration's offer of fruit baskets for everybody, and an invitation to show Pulgasari, his home-made-with-the-help-of-the famous-director-and-his-wife-whom-he-kidnapped, monster movie at the WH.

PULGASARI!

Look! He's eating the needle!

(X-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog, and brought to you as always, by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, where second life needs no linden dollars. Thanks, Kevin Dujan! Aren't you glad? I know I am. ; 0 })

Hey Kevin, Madame Secretary Called

Now it can be revealed! Kevin Dujan's fifth imaginary friend!

--And she wants her cardboard cut-out back, so it can be given to someone who respects her more, like Jon Favreau.

So much craziness, so little time. My apologies to my ones of readers, who have followed this halting narrative ever since Kevin Dujan, (aka "Harvey Bilk", or lately, "Uremic Heap") decided to use me and my then-dormant blog for lucrative target-practice, but life keeps intervening, or else I just don't have the drive of the Mad the way he does. I can barely manage to be one person, for instance, whereas he's managed to dupe his readers into believing that he's a bunch of "boiz," all of whom need support (samoleons)!

I will be continuing to put up posts, and have half-a-dozen going on sale shortly, because, although they're past their freshness date, they're still okay, and won't give you any more of a stomach ache than can be had by reading his awful, awful, blog. So stay tuned, and thank you so much for your more than patience.

brought to you as always by Mrs. Polly of Snarkopolitan, the undead blog, constantly falling behind the skulduggery of the skulduggerers, center cannot hold, worst full of passionate intensity, etc etc.

American Thinker: Barack Obama Is Just Like A Killer Whale In So Many Ways!

It was so obvious, it was just staring the country in the face, but it took the intermittently firing neurons of Jeannie deAngelis at American Thinker to formulate and give vent to just what everyone's been thinking:

Barack Obama is an out-of-control Monster Orca, and regrettably, now we all know it:

Pictures of Dawn Brancheau balancing triumphantly on Shamu's snout are reminiscent of Obama supporters in "joyful harmony" with the new president following the last election.

The similarities are so numerous, and so tragic: two beasts, seemingly friendly as long as they're caressed, but hiding their true agendas behind toothy smiles and false diffidence. What is their true desire? To drag us down, down, down, till we can struggle no more!

Like Brancheau stroking Tilly's nose, a sycophantic electorate massaged Obama's ego. One year later, Democrats constrained by faltering poll numbers appear "agitated." Why? Because America stopped feeding and rubbing Barry's political proboscis, and now the star of the show's belligerent, temperamental comments are manifesting more and more frequently.

Yes, it was a horrible presumption on the part of the public that a beast like Barack Obama could ever be happy in such an unnatural environment as the presidency:

captive killer whales have been known to attack handlers," which explains why Democrats, confined by the majority's criticism of liberal political ideology, produce stress reactions, causing "smart animals" like Obama to "lash out."

Truly, for the sakes not just of all of us, but for his sake, too, let us join Jeannie and all the American Thinkers to demand that Barack Obama be released back into the wild.

Free Barry! Free Barry!
He is way too much like a killer whale!

brought to you by Snarkopolitan, the undead barracuda of blogs, and cross-posted at rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog. Covering some of the folly but not all, because we are only one person, and we have a job!

Maybe He Had Tickets To Billy Elliot

We've yet to hear from God's Mouthpiece Pat Robertson on just why He (that is, God) decided to spare the Big Apple while coming down so hard on Washington and points west, which are actually going to be smacked again. Look, God, it was funny the first time (well, actually, it wasn't). But now it's just getting stale.

Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog.

WELCOME SHILLBUZZERS!!!

Since Harvey Bilk has decided to send you here, I thought I'd roll out the welcome mat:

idiot's appearance changed to protect her identity from her personality

Update: So sweet of Harvey Bilk to dedicate a post to poor old neglected Snarkopolitan. Yes, it's true, Snarkopolitan ran a blog consisting of a single post dedicated to helping "socially conscious" neighbors try to get a spot in her apartment complex through a long-closed lottery! She or he is the evillist person!

So I took down the blog because it shows the apartment complex where I live. But if you intrepid dupes, I mean sleuths, of Shillbuzz want to waste your hospital slippers trying to track me down, I heartily invite you to try and find me. In the meantime, hit that Paypal button, before Bilk starts scolding you again!



Update Update:

Readers! We get readers!
Crackers Maggie, this one's for YOU!


Nincompoop's appearance changed to spare her family the humiliation








alessandro: you rock

Hellooooo, Hillbuzz!

Poor old neglected Snarkopolitan is playing reluctant Lazarus to a set of fiercely determined and resolutely idiotic would-be Sherlock Holmeses, who have breathlessly convinced themselves that everybody from George Soros to Maurice Sendak has participated in a conspiracy to silence the eternal drone of the stuck doorbell of intolerance that is Hillbuzz. They provide no links or proof, just dark assertions that are so overblown Dean Koontz would blush. Herewith, a screencap, which, as they are stultifying writers of flaccid, necrotic prose, I have kindly turned into a Blingee for my readers' relief:



We have no evidence but Hillbuzz's assertion of this fell conspiracy. But they, or perhaps, "he," had the cloak of anonymity pulled off by a blogger entirely unrelated to poor old neglected Snarkopolitan, or Mrs. Polly's friends and co-bloggers elsewhere. This caused the Buzzers, or Buzzer, as there seems to be only one, to pitch a mouth-foaming fit of epic proportions, and if saliva were subpoenas we'd have all been served.

The unfortunate innocents whose names and addresses have been published by the Hillbuzzing chuckleheads in their reckless search for revenge, have committed no crimes; some of them merely share last names with other strangers who run blog-registering sites.



This fellow in Rhode Island has perhaps done graphic design for a website owned by someone who shares a surname with the actual target of Hillbuzz's wrath. And Hillbuzzers have no compunction in doing exactly what they accuse others of doing-- making threats:


The abandon with which these hitherto anonymous and uninvolved parties' names are being smeared at Hillbuzz was enough to alarm a commenter who still had remnants of caution, if not decency:




Yes, for all that's holy, Hillbuzz, be careful As Jo Chgo says. You might want to remove that posting of the respected psychiatrist, but since you have the number, why don't you give him a call?

And should he or any of the people whose names and information you've published in your haste to divert attention from the acrid odor of bigotry on your own blog wish to sue you, as you can see, I've quite a lot of screen caps.

The Orliad

From the Diary of Orly Taitz, D.D.S., J.D., C.O.D.


Yesterday I traveled to Idaho. I was able to address Chief Justice Roberts during the question answer session after his lecture. It was a grueling day, I left home at 3 in the morning after sleeping only 3 hours



and drove to San Diego



from there flew to Salt Lake City



from there to Spokane, Washington



from there I drove for a couple of hours to be in Moscow Idaho, to address Chief Justice Roberts.



After the lecture the audience was told, that they can ask questions, give their name and present a shot question. I was the first to run to the microphone



"My name is Orly Taitz, I am an attorney from Southern California. I left home at three o'clock in the morning and flew and drove thousands of miles to talk to you and ask you a question". Roberts seemed to be impressed by that and I continued. "Are you aware that there is criminal activity going on in the Supreme Court of the United States........



I am writing this in a hurry, ready to leave my hotel room, finishing yesterday's dinner leftovers and ready to board a plane for a grueling flight back home.



I missed time with my children, time that will never come back because a am criss crossing this country talking to Justices of the Supreme court, Representatives, Senators, FBI agents, Attorney Generals, US attorneys, telling all of them, what is wrong with you?



Did some evil magician put a spell on the men in this country and they stopped being men? Why are you afraid to tell this arrogant jerk from Africa and Indonesia- You need to go home,There is no proof that you are even a citizen. For all we know, you need to go back to Kenya and wait for your green card, and that after we try you for all the crimes perpetrated upon American citizens.

Brought to you by a grant from the Anna Russell School of "I'm Not Making This Up You Know!"



Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog.

Crunchy Inside

Last week, NASA launched a small telescope named after Johannes Kepler into space. I have my own reasons for enjoying this, but who could not like this squat little spacecraft? It looks like a cross between a Pisco bottle and a Taco Bell Burrito. It's only a third the size of that maladjusted diva, the Hubble. Its mission is to search for habitable planets circling other suns, taking pictures of them with its 95 mega-pixel camera. It has almost no moving parts. Just a few thrusters and a couple of little reaction wheels to keep it pointed at its chosen section of the Milky Way.

It also has a honeycombed mirror, a couple of starfinders, the 95 megapixel photometer, and a High Gain Antenna so it can call home once a week. All of this wrapped in a snazzy blue solar cape that James Brown might have envied. You could argue that the money could be better spent on earth, but the way the earth is heading, we might need extra planets some day. So Kepler's not just a pretty face; Kepler's practical.

Kepler also twitters, somewhat alarmingly, in the first person. But at least Kepler has enough sense not to talk to strangers:

In 1973, Nasa sent two Pioneer spacecrafts right out of our solar system, and had the bad judgement to affix plaques to them with directions on how to find us. As if that weren't enough, Man and Woman are depicted on the plaques. Man is a '70s white dude with an atrocious blow-dried do (with possible sideburns) and Woman is missing something: her vulva.

Carl Sagan, whose bright idea the plaque was, and his wife at the time, Linda, who contributed the drawings, omitted what he called "a very short line" (a few civilizations have fallen on the existence of that "very short line") to make sure that the plaque would escape earthly prudery and go on to miseducate the universe.

Carl Sagan was a brilliant man and an optimist. But cluing in advanced civilizations on our whereabouts, is that the best idea? Really?

The Envoys Arrive

that evening, at the Hay-Adams:

Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog