The Compleat Orliad, In No Particular Order

Orly is our Joan of Arc--Maertin Pinsky

Normally, if you can even say normally in any sentence proximate to Orly Taitz's loyal follower Maertin Pinsky, you'd say he is a few cartridges short of a magazine. This, for example, is your average Maertin Pinsky:

The Military govenor will be a patriot and will in time return–after order is restored, government to civilian control where safeguards wil be built in NEVER to allow Boeskys, Millens, Rutkowskis. Madoffs etc, to rise and emerge as virtual dictators in their specialties. The punishment is execution for screwing over innocent hard working people expecting the best in treatment and trust.
Enough is enough–
ORDER BEFORE JUSTICE
A CALL TO ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......

The cockroached are in the walls of governmnet at all levels of corruption and the RAID spray will reach them.

Yes, Maertin's cure for preventing virtual dictators is to install actual dictators. Just as soon as you-know-who is proven not to be the duly elected executive, but

that usurper bastard now in office–hopefully not for long.

Maertin's plans are heroic; in fact, they transcend the mortal realm:

.

Arrested as well are leaders of Goldman Sachs, Paulison Jr. Raines, Johnson, and suimmarilly executed: Sol Alinsky and BillAYERS.

But Maertin clapped the title of Saint Joan on Dentist/Lawyer (the latter legal in the overgenerous state of California only) Orly Taitz quite sensibly, as long as you remember that Orlymatter is always negatively charged.

Instead of trying to crown the rightful leader of the people, she's trying to unseat him. Instead of abjuring female accoutrements, she is so permeated with them that her veins must run with peroxide and her brain be coated in carnauba wax. Instead of penury, she has Paypal (or had; she also has Paranoia, so now she demands that her followers mail her money directly). And she's a mother of three, so we needn't inquire further on the Maiden front.

Still, she shares a few traits with the Maid of Orleans: grandiosity, implacability, and a bowl-shaped hairdo, though with Joan it was more of a cereal bowl and Orly's is more of a punch bowl.

She also serves for inspiration amongst the foot soldiers:

But, wait! What is that thunderous sound?
So very loud, it shakes the ground.

Could it be millions upon millions of Patriots’ feet?
That is marching, ever marching to Liberty’s drumbeat.
Now, the good men will no longer ignore.
The oath of allegiance that they did swore.
Our Constitution is the key to restore
To the erosion of Freedom WE say. “No more!”
---Kim American

Orly also has a Pretender to her throne, or Pyre: one Philip J. Berg, the 911 Truther, who some time ago got himself a law degree in person, and spent the last twenty years making his professors blush for having passed him.

Whereas these two once worked harmoniously together in the cause of trying to reverse the will of the people, it's not usual that two lyric sopranos occupy the same production, and the same goes for birth-certificate conspiracy theorist shysters. So Orly, having run afoul of Berg by spamming his assistant's social security number to her entire database of credulous nitwit supporters, found herself the subject of a lawsuit :

NOW COMES, Lisa Liberi, Philip J. Berg, Esquire, the Law Offices of Philip J. Berg, Evelyn Adams aka MommaA, Lisa M. Ostella and Go Excel Global, Plaintiffs by and through the undersigned counsel and brings this Complaint seeking injunctive relief and damages against the Defendants, Orly Taitz aka Dr. Orly Taitz aka Law Offices of Orly Taitz......

Orly is the one lawyer who could find Philip Berg 's suit beyond her skills to rebut. While not exactly equivalent to being captured by the English, that might take the ginger out of her for a while. But her powers of denial, evasion, and taste for posing as a martyr keep her humming along at her usual frenetic madwoman's pace.

On her site, she's asking for a Pennsylvania attorney, not to help her with Berg's suit, exactly, but:

I am looking for a name of a Pennsylvania attorney, licensed in Federal court in Philadelphia, who specializes in issues of parties defrauding non-profit organizations, SS and IRS fraud, defamation, cyber crimes, theft via the Internet.

An attorney of subtlety and artfulness, Orly must be faking left before jabbing right. Either that, or she's not just telegraphing her next punch, she's putting it up on the Jumbotron.

Not only do ammo-happy insurrectionists get to unite under Orly's fraying banner, but her site is useful as an aggregator for all kinds of off-road ludicrousness, where commenters fulminate against traffic circles, mouth-breathe about Fema camps, and sell snake-oil to each other, such as colloidal silver.



This last, colloidal silver, contains not only the usual dose of stupid, but is actually dangerous, and if ingested in any quantity can cause disfigurement, by turning the user a permanent, pronounced, deathly-looking gray. There is no known safe quantity; everyone's metabolism is different, so the only way to tell if you have a problem is when you have a problem, and then you have a giant problem.

It's tempting to let Orly's legions labor on in their belief that swine flu can be warded off with a few ampules of shiny quackery; once they turned themselves gray, they'd be easy to pick out of a crowd, if only to avoid. But since they might dose innocents like their children with it, we find it necessary to emphasize, for everybody:

Don't eat silver. Don't drink silver. Don't nibble on tea-trays, don't suck on repoussé serving spoons, don't do it.


Unless you want to match your suit of armour.

If you want to ingest something unproven, inefficacious, unpleasant, and expensive, take Super Blue-green Algae instead. At the very worst, you might turn a lovely shade of turquoise. Then you could pose as a mermaid, and wear seaweed in your hair.


*** *** *** *** *** *** ***


Book Two


This week was a very busy week for Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.
Yesterday, March 25, 2009, she pounded the pavement in DC.



First stop was to William Chatfield’s office, Director of the Selective Service



Dr. Taitz provided Mr. Chatfield with a full copy of the dossier sent to the Attorney General, Eric Holder.



She highlighted sections of the dossier to show Mr. Chatfield that Barack Obama has hundreds of Social Security Numbers and properties associated with his name. One Social Security Number in particular was issued in Connecticut, and lists him as being 118 years old. (Attachment B).
(Attachment D) shows that Magic Plumbing had worked on the sprinkler system at the World Trade Center just days before 9/11. One of the men that performed this work lived in Brooklyn. He left Brooklyn on 9/11 and went to Tennessee. A woman that had a court date involving identity theft with the motor vehicle department in Tennessee met a mysterious death.



Mr. Chatfield had no comment or thought in reference to this material being shown to him.


While at the Senate building, a phone report was made to Captain Crowford, legal counsel to Admiral Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff.



From there she went to Senator Kyl’s office, Minority Whip and Senate Judiciary Committee



After that, it was off to the Pentagon.



"Respectfully submitted.and is being hand delivered on my way to the airport, flying back to California"

As always, brought to you by a grant from the Anna Russell Foundation: "I'm Not Making This Up You Know!"

Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog.

Meet Mike Doogan, another of Alaska's proud Public Servants. He used to be a journalist. Perhaps that is why Alaska's premier political blogger, AK Muckraker of Mudflats, infuriated him so much that he outed her.

After the Democratic representative was taken to task by Mudflats for sending rude emails to his constituents, he spent some state time digging, before using state resources to publish an article in his newsletter:

"Anonymous Blogger Anonymous No More
The identity of the person who writes the liberal Democratic Mudflats blog has been secret since the blog began, protected by the Anchorage Daily News, among others. My own theory about the public process is you can say what you want, as long as you are willing to stand behind it using your real name. So I was interested to learn that the woman who writes the blog is Anchorage resident ______.
Best wishes,
[signed]

I'm not linking to the newsletter, because it contains the blogger's name, and though almost all the toothpaste is out of the tube, there might still be enough in there for a couple of bicuspids.


Yes, actually, Mr. Doogan, a private citizen should be able to publish anything but actionable libel about a politician. You took on the burden of being a public figure when you ran for office. The woman who incurred your wrath has a right to her privacy, especially on the Internet, which can be a dangerous place. Moreover, she took you to the woodshed for your own stupidity and rudeness, but it's hardly reason to stalk and expose her.

Why are you even spending time on this narcissistic self-indulgence when your state is such a mess? You have remote villages with no sanitary facilities and makeshift schools, you have a volcano whoopsing on your oil tanks, and you waste your time on this?


That was part of an email I sent to this third-rate Jimmy Breslin, along with a promise that the minute he was primaried, I'd be sending a check to his opponent.

Should anybody wish to support Mudflats' creator, here you go:
Ph: (907) 465-4998 Or (800) 689-4998 Fax: (907) 465-4419
AK State Capitol Rm #112 Juneau, AK 99801
doogan@akdemocrats.org

The Republican Recovery Plan

The Orliad

From the Diary of Orly Taitz, D.D.S., J.D., C.O.D.


Yesterday I traveled to Idaho. I was able to address Chief Justice Roberts during the question answer session after his lecture. It was a grueling day, I left home at 3 in the morning after sleeping only 3 hours



and drove to San Diego



from there flew to Salt Lake City



from there to Spokane, Washington



from there I drove for a couple of hours to be in Moscow Idaho, to address Chief Justice Roberts.



After the lecture the audience was told, that they can ask questions, give their name and present a shot question. I was the first to run to the microphone



"My name is Orly Taitz, I am an attorney from Southern California. I left home at three o'clock in the morning and flew and drove thousands of miles to talk to you and ask you a question". Roberts seemed to be impressed by that and I continued. "Are you aware that there is criminal activity going on in the Supreme Court of the United States........



I am writing this in a hurry, ready to leave my hotel room, finishing yesterday's dinner leftovers and ready to board a plane for a grueling flight back home.



I missed time with my children, time that will never come back because a am criss crossing this country talking to Justices of the Supreme court, Representatives, Senators, FBI agents, Attorney Generals, US attorneys, telling all of them, what is wrong with you?



Did some evil magician put a spell on the men in this country and they stopped being men? Why are you afraid to tell this arrogant jerk from Africa and Indonesia- You need to go home,There is no proof that you are even a citizen. For all we know, you need to go back to Kenya and wait for your green card, and that after we try you for all the crimes perpetrated upon American citizens.

Brought to you by a grant from the Anna Russell School of "I'm Not Making This Up You Know!"



Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog.

Brisking About the Life

For he counteracts the Devil, who is death, by brisking about the life.
For in his morning orisons he loves the sun and the sun loves him.
For he is of the tribe of Tiger.
So wrote the great English poet and sometime asylum inmate Christopher Smart about his friend and comfort, in a moving, vivid, and wildly eccentric work that begins, "For I Will Consider My Cat Jeoffry."

Kevin K. of Rumproast said goodbye to his friend Hubcap yesterday. She was a beautiful creature, with her own eccentricities, and a worthy member of the tribe. She brisked about the life for fifteen good years.

That was thanks to Kevin and Chris. The very best to them.

Teh Crazy Goes Round And Round

And It Comes Out Here:
Defend Our Freedoms, the site of Orly Taitz, Esq.-in-the-state-of-California-only, D.D.S., is a full-featured site. Besides the usual incitements to rebellion, misspelled citations of antiquely inapplicable statutes, and pleas for money that are Orly's stock-in-trade, there's the Joke of the Day. Actually (if you don't include Orly's every blessed post), there are only two Jokes of the Day. They're neither hilarious nor terribly bad, not really worth the trip.

But one of the comments for the second Joke of the Day was thought provoking:

3/3/2009 6:14 PM Donna wrote:There is a very disturbing video on UTube and the title is Minnesota prepare for Martial Law. I first connected with it on Alex Jones. Now it is gone. I found it by typing in Minnesota prepares for Martial Law.Are there any viewers from Minnesota that can verify this"? This person gives a place called Farmington that is manufacturing the glass. He also states you can drive out of the city and find many of these roundabouts.

Roundabouts? Not the little traffic circles all over France, with the towns' names spelt out in marigolds in the middle? My mother and I were caught in one of them a few years back, and the worst danger was vertigo from constantly missing the turn-off to Perpignan. We did almost hit a sable-bearded gentleman in a tiny SmartCar; he beeped and shook his finger at us as if we were naughty children. (I should like to point out that my mother was driving, and had mistaken the gas for the brake. Again.)

Putting "martial law," "Minnesota" and "Roundabouts" into Dogpile, my favorite search engine (starring Arfie), yielded the video, which was certainly eye-opening. Roundabouts are not safety enhancements after all! The U.N. is going to put huts on top of them. They are just perfect for little U.N. huts, so that blue-helmeted U.N. troops can run out of the huts and suppress the free movement of true Americans. Even though anyone in a hut in the center of a roundabout would be vulnerable from all sides, as exposed as the little figures on a wedding cake.

Dogpiling "roundabouts" and "U.N. Huts" turned up " UN threatens minnesota with global government, page 1", which took me to a thread by "mastermind 77" at a site (apparently overpopulated with masterminds) called "abovetopsecret.com".

The site's a sort of aggregator of "alternative" theories, enough to provide point-and-laugh, or shiver, material for a lifetime.Though convenient, unlike Dick Cheney, I don't enjoy canned hunts. But having fairly followed this quail from the wild back to the compound, I thought I might as well stay.

Mastermind77 began the fulminating:

"I just got word from a person who knows a local contractor that UN checkpoints are being planned to go up in the next few years. With round-about's being put in to stifle traffic so these usurpers of sovereignty and liberty can have their way with our country."

Daedalu snarled back, >"Im someone though. a man hardened by the fires of time and experience, emboldened against evil and tyranny and for continuance of family, gathering and liberty. And I challenge evil at the highest or lowest realms of existence itself by stating truth, whether its too crazy, too real, or not enough."

The black helicopter rotors were certainly revving up.

The usurpers of sovereignty had their own website for these traffic stiflers, and when I went to roundaboutsusa.com, I found terrifying pictures of round dirt impediments to continuance of family and liberty. Here's a scary one, and this one will trouble your sleep.

There is a bright spot, but it's the only bright spot for the Masterminds who are forced to yield before entering these circular oppressors of liberty: never again will they ever have to make left turns.
Crossposted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog.

Crunchy Inside

Last week, NASA launched a small telescope named after Johannes Kepler into space. I have my own reasons for enjoying this, but who could not like this squat little spacecraft? It looks like a cross between a Pisco bottle and a Taco Bell Burrito. It's only a third the size of that maladjusted diva, the Hubble. Its mission is to search for habitable planets circling other suns, taking pictures of them with its 95 mega-pixel camera. It has almost no moving parts. Just a few thrusters and a couple of little reaction wheels to keep it pointed at its chosen section of the Milky Way.

It also has a honeycombed mirror, a couple of starfinders, the 95 megapixel photometer, and a High Gain Antenna so it can call home once a week. All of this wrapped in a snazzy blue solar cape that James Brown might have envied. You could argue that the money could be better spent on earth, but the way the earth is heading, we might need extra planets some day. So Kepler's not just a pretty face; Kepler's practical.

Kepler also twitters, somewhat alarmingly, in the first person. But at least Kepler has enough sense not to talk to strangers:

In 1973, Nasa sent two Pioneer spacecrafts right out of our solar system, and had the bad judgement to affix plaques to them with directions on how to find us. As if that weren't enough, Man and Woman are depicted on the plaques. Man is a '70s white dude with an atrocious blow-dried do (with possible sideburns) and Woman is missing something: her vulva.

Carl Sagan, whose bright idea the plaque was, and his wife at the time, Linda, who contributed the drawings, omitted what he called "a very short line" (a few civilizations have fallen on the existence of that "very short line") to make sure that the plaque would escape earthly prudery and go on to miseducate the universe.

Carl Sagan was a brilliant man and an optimist. But cluing in advanced civilizations on our whereabouts, is that the best idea? Really?

The Envoys Arrive

that evening, at the Hay-Adams:

Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog

Fainting Goats for Freedom

Supporting Dr. Orly, One Camelid At A Time

In these tough times, it's difficult scraping up the funds to support Dentist/Lawyer Dr. Orly Taitz's heroic struggle to bring down the nauseatingly popular usurper, British-Indokenyan Muslibertheosocialazi Barry Dunsoeterror. Dr. Orly understands. But having no money shouldn't stop you from making sure her coffers are filled:

Defend Our Freedoms Foundation

Want to help out but don't have money to donate? Defend Our Freedoms has partnered with Breederville.com. By registering at "this link", you can set up a business store, hold an auction, sell your products and sell livestock while supporting Defend Our Freedoms.

No Ebay cookie jars here. These auctions are for a Redder State crowd. Breederville's categories run more to Ratites (Emu, Ostrich, Rhea), Camelids, Waterfowl, and all the more usual animals and farm implements. Other than exotic fish, urbanites would have trouble participating in Orly's auctions.

There is a Studding, Semen, or Embryo category. A vial of Semen is small enough to go right in even a dorm-size refrigerator, but sadly, nobody is auctioning off any Freedom sperm. Nor are most of the really enticing sections of the livestock universe represented: no Fallow Deer, no Alligators, no Byelorussian Harness Horses, and, especially disappointing, no Tennessee Fainting Goats. I happen to know of at least one sure customer for a Tennessee Fainting Goat.

But you can bid for rabbit meat. ""High Quality Rabbit Meat"" at that. You can also bid for three different kinds of worms, including live colored wax worms. They come in seven frighteningly neon shades, and they are live, not wax. You can also get a compartmented plastic WaxiTaxi, so you can take them wherever you go, segregated.

I looked into the waxworm world, and I learned how to raise them, how to color them, how they differ from mealworms, how long they will keep their color underwater (up to one hour, but if your worm is still there after an hour, you have more problems than impermanent worm dye). What I didn't learn is why. Why dye them seven colors in the first place? But this might be one of those instances of ""If you have to ask why, you'll never understand.""

Dr. Orly's followers are also raising crickets and crayfish for her, and you can bid on bison bratwurst for the cause. So if you can't find a place in your life for a pound of neon wax worms, there's no reason to despair. You can still participate in Dr. Orly's Auctions. They're the only satisfaction she's ever likely to find from a gavel.

Update: Yes To Democracy is a site that has followed every twist of the many Obama birth certificate lawsuits and moronic fantasies to issue from the tangled brains of legal lights such as Orly, Phil Berg, et. al. Strange Appar8us, a regular commenter there and at Rumproast, has written the ultimate tag-team steel-cage scenario involving the lot of them. Not to read it is to lead a life ultimately unfulfilled.

(Cross-posted at Rumproast, America's Meatiest Blog)

Driving the GOP

What better image for the GOP than that of a bloated, loud-mouthed, drug-addicted, Viagra hound multi-millionaire sitting in his ormolu encrusted Palm Beach mansion hoping the president's programs for rescuing the economy fail? And the proud parade of Republicans prostrating themselves before his Steele-reinforced throne?